经典的一分钟英语笑话
笑话作为一种消遣的艺术,具有生活与艺术的双重属性,需要回归日常生活的审美语境下加以研究。下面小编整理了一分钟英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
借口(中英)
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There is no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to him- self and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.
一个人刚刚买了一辆奔驰车，准备到州与州之间的公路上来一个夜晚兜风。他来到了最高处，微风轻轻拂过了他的发梢，这个人想让自己的爱车大显身手一番。指针指到了80英里/小时，突然，他看到了身后有一个闪烁的红蓝灯，“他们根本就别想追上我的奔驰。”他心想，于是加足了马力。指针指到90,100,110,最后到了120，可那个灯还在后面闪着。
"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork，so if you can give me an Excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go”
“我到底在干什么呀!”他突然想到了什么，马上把车停在了路旁。警察走了过来，二话没说就拿走了他的驾照，然后看了看驾照和车说:“我上晚班已很累了，这是我最后一次叫停车。你要是能给我一个我从来没听过的借口，说明你为什么开这快车，我就不再做什么记录了，你就可以离开。”
“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” The man said "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“上星期我的妻子和一个警察跑了，”男的说，“我还以为你追我，是想把我妻子还给我呢!”
"Have a nice night,” said the officer.
警察说:“过一个愉快的夜晚。”
经典的一分钟英语笑话餐馆里(中英)
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage.”
一个德州人、一个俄国人和一个纽约人一起进了伦敦的一家餐馆里，服务员说:“打扰一下，如果您哪位想点牛排，我想我们无法满足您，因为现在缺货。”
The Texan said, "What's a shortage?"
德州人问:“缺货是什么意思?”
The Russian said，"What's a steak?"
俄国人问:“牛排是什么意思?”
The New Yorker said, "What’s excuse me?"
美国人问:“打扰一下是什么意思?”
关于一分钟英语笑话休息一天(中英)
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:
如果你要求休息一天，那就让我们看看你一直都要求了些什么:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in
which you already have 2 days off per week， leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
一年有365天可以用来工作。其中有52个星期，每个星期中你都可以休息2天，这样就剩下了261天可以用来工作。可是在每天当中你又有16个小时不工作，算起来这就是170天的时间，还有91天。你每天还要有30分钟休息喝杯咖啡的时间，算起来每年就是23天，还剩下68天。每天一个小时的午饭时间，你又用了6天，还剩下22天可以用来工作。
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available, for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I' ll be darned if you are going to take that day off !
通常每年你还要请2天的病假。这就只剩20天可用来工作。可我们每年还有5天的假日，这样工作的时间就减到了15天。每年还有14天的假期，这就只剩下一天了，如果就这一天你还要休息，那我就要疯了。
