英语爆笑笑话故事系列

日复一日的生活常常让人感到疲惫和厌倦，英语笑话能够使人们感到一丝快意和放松。本站小编整理了英语爆笑笑话故事，欢迎阅读!

　　英语爆笑笑话故事：It Doesn't Exist

Jimmy came home from school with an F on his geography test. His Mother was reviewing his work, and noticed that he had gotten one particularly easy question wrong.

"Jimmy," she asked, "Santa Cruz is in California."

"No, it isn't. It doesn't exist."

"Of course it exists. What makes you think it's imaginary?"

"That's what you told me, mommy," the boy replied.

"When did I tell you that?"

"Last Christmas, when I wanted to know why I didn't get a horse."

"No, I told you that Santa CLAUS doesn't exist, not Santa CRUZ."

　　英语爆笑笑话故事：Confused Child

Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse",she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. "O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does.

"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.

His mother then says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!

　　英语爆笑笑话故事：Make your bed

My wife and I are teachers, and our jobs often spill over into our family life.

One morning, as our eight year old Maggie was getting ready for school, I peeked into her room just to be sure she had tidied it up.

"You call THAT a made bed?" I asked.

"No, Dad," Maggie replied. "It's just a rough draft."

　　英语爆笑笑话故事：Cow Giving Birth

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing pie-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.

The man thought, "Great... he's 5 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."

When everything was over, Dad strolled over to his son and said, "Well Willie, do you have any questions?"

"Just one," gasped the pie-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

　　英语爆笑笑话故事：Swearing

A seven-year-old boy and his four-year-old brother were upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" said the seven year old. "I think it's about time we start swearing."

The four year old nodded his head in approval.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say hell, and you say ass, okay?" The four year old agreed with enthusiasm.

The mother walked into the kitchen and asked the seven year old what he wanted for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the floor, got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. The mother looked at the four year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do you want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbered, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."

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