别学布林！办公室恋情是高风险游戏

The news on Wednesday that Google cofounder Sergey Brin had become involved with a Google employee and had split with his wife of six years, Anne Wojcicki, highlights the fallout that can result from an office romance.
周三传出新闻，谷歌公司创始人谢尔盖-布林与该公司的一名员工发生了婚外恋，并已与结婚六年的妻子安妮-沃西基分居。该新闻突显了一场办公室恋情可能带来的种种后果。

A spokesman for Brin and Wojcicki told Forbes that the two have been living apart for several months but “remain good friends and partners.” All Things D also reported that, according to sources, they have a prenuptial agreement and that their split and potential divorce would have no impact on Google.
布林和沃西基的一位发言人告诉福布斯：两人已经分居数月但“仍然保持着良好的朋友和伙伴关系”。科技博客All Things D还报道称，据消息人士透露，他们签有一份婚前协议，两人分居甚或是今后可能的离婚都不会给谷歌带来任何影响。

It could be that everything works out fine for Brin, Wojcicki and Brin’s new romantic partner. But lawyers and career coaches say that getting involved with a colleague or boss can turn into a minefield of problems.
对于布林、沃西基和布林的新欢而言，这一切可能都没什么大不了的。但律师们和职业教练们表示，与同事或老板发生爱恋可能会陷入危机四伏的境地。

Nevertheless, Brin is among a growing number of people who find their love interests at work. According to a 2013 survey by the job search website , 39% of workers say they’ve dated a colleague at some point in their careers.
不过，越来越多的人在工作中找到了意中人，布林只是其中的一个。根据求职网站CareerBuilder所做的一份2013年调查，39%的工作者称曾与同事约会过。

Nearly a third say they married the person they dated at work. Another career website, , found that 59% of respondents had dated a colleague at least once during their career.
近三分之一的人表示，他们与办公室恋人结了婚。另一个职业网站Vault发现，59%的受访者至少与同事约会过一次。

The office is a hotbed of romance–and a more effective one than dating websites or the corner bar. Helaine Olen, coauthor with Stephanie Losee of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding–and Managing–Romance on the Job, says the workplace is where most people find love these days. “The office has turned into the village of the 21st century,” she says. “Where else do you spend 12 hours a day?”
办公室是恋情的滋生地，比约会网站或酒吧的孤身角落都更富有成效。与史蒂芬妮-卢西合著《办公室恋情之员工法则》的赫莱茵-奥伦说道，如今大多数人在工作场合找到爱情。“在21世纪，办公室已经变成了一个小村子，”她说，“还有什么地方你会一天待上12个小时？”

And fewer workers are keeping their romances secret. CareerBuilder found that 65% of workers who had office relationships were public about them, compared with 46% seven years ago. The survey of 4,200 workers was conducted for CareerBuilder by Harris Interactive.
越来越少的工作者对恋情进行保密。CareerBuilder网站发现，65%有办公室恋情的人选择了公开，相比之下七年前这个比例仅为46%。这份采访了4,200名工作者的调查结果是哈里斯互动公司为CareerBuilder网站而做的。

While people are more relaxed about office dating than they were in the 1990s, and Brin and his new love interest may live happily ever after, in many cases, boss-employee relationships end badly. Brin’s relationship raises one of the most obvious issues: the breakup of a marriage.
尽管与90年代相比现在人们对待办公室恋情不再那么神经紧张，而且布林和他的新欢可能从此幸福地生活在一起，但在很多情况下，老板和员工之间的恋情会惨淡收场。布林的恋情提出了一个再明显不过的问题：婚姻破裂。

But another perilous scenario, says employment lawyer Kathleen McKenna of New York’s Proskauer law firm is a sexual harassment suit brought by the underling. Such suits are based on either a claim of a hostile work environment or a charge that there was f-me-or-you’re-fired quid pro quo harassment.
但纽约普洛思律师事务所的劳动法律师凯萨琳-麦凯纳称，还有一种更危险的情况：由下级提起的性骚扰指控。这样的案件往往指控老板给自己小鞋儿穿，或者威胁如若不从就会被炒鱿鱼。

Given that office romance seems to be inevitable, I asked McKenna and another lawyer, plus a career coach, a sociologist and a wise Forbes contributor, for rules that can help ensure that an office romance turns out well.
考虑到办公室恋情似乎不可避免，我曾向麦凯纳和另一名律师，外加一名职业教练、一位社会学家以及一位睿智的福布斯撰稿人请教，有没有什么规则能为办公室恋情保驾护航。
No. 1: Avoid a supervisor-supervisee relationship.
首先是避免在上下级之间发展恋情。

Especially for the person in the supervisor’s seat, such a relationship is “criminally stupid,” says McKenna. “You might as well put a sign on your forehead that says, ‘Kick me here.’” McKenna acts mainly as a defense lawyer. In Brin’s case it’s not clear he broke this rule, given that he’s outside the company and doesn’t officially supervise his new romantic partner.
尤其对处在上级位置上的那个人来说，这样的关系“非常愚蠢可能招惹上官司”，麦凯纳说道。她说，“这无异于在脑门上贴了一个标志，上面写着‘朝这儿踢’。”麦凯纳主要做被告方的辩护律师。就布林的情况而言，考虑到他不在公司内部，在职务上没有与新恋人形成上下级关系，因此尚不清楚他是否违反了该规则。

Still Edward Hernstadt, a plaintiff-side employment lawyer in New York, agrees with McKenna. An employee can make a claim that she (it’s usually a she) wouldn’t have dated the boss if she hadn’t felt compelled. “The supervisor will say, ‘I just asked you to go on a date,’” says Hernstadt. “But the subordinate will say, ‘I felt I couldn’t say no.’”
然而，纽约原告方劳动法律师爱德华•赫恩斯塔德同意麦凯纳的看法。员工可能会声称如果不是感觉受到了胁迫，她（通常是女性）是不会与老板约会的。赫恩斯塔德说，“她的上级会说，‘我只是问你是否愿意与我约会。’但当事人会说，‘我感到不能够说不’。”

If a supervisor and a subordinate just can’t resist each other, McKenna recommends that they sign what she calls a “cupid contract.”
如果上下级之间彼此吸引且不能自拔，麦凯纳就建议双方签署一份“丘比特合约”。

They should spell out in writing the fact that both are engaging in a consensual relationship. If the company has a sexual harassment policy, they should make it clear they understand the rules.
他们应当白纸黑字地写清楚：彼此两情相悦。如果公司有关于性骚扰的制度，他们还应当写明自己知晓这些规则。

Helaine Olen agrees. “Set some ground rules you can use if the relationship flames out,” she advises. “It’s like a prenup for an office romance.”
赫莱茵-奥伦也认同这一点。她建议，“订立一些基本规则，一旦关系恶化可以用到。对办公室恋情来说这就像婚前协议一样。”

Olen also suggests that the senior partner in the relationship step up and report the romance to the human resources department. In so doing the supervisor should volunteer to take the hit if the company decides the pair should no longer work together.
奥伦还建议，上下级恋情中作为上级的一方应当主动站出来，向人力资源部门报备。在这样做的过程中，如果公司认为两人不应再一同工作，上级的一方应该主动提出离开。

It’s far preferable to find someone outside your department to date. Connie Thanasoulis-Cerrachio, a career coach who has worked with companies including Merrill Lynch, Pfizer and Citigroup, recommends looking for love at office philanthropic activities and social events like softball games rather than in the neighboring cubicle.
在自己部门以外的地方寻找心仪对象就可取得多了。曾经与美林证券、辉瑞制药和花旗银行合作的职业教练康妮-萨纳索利斯·切拉基奥建议在公司的慈善活动以及像垒球游戏等社交活动中寻找爱情，而不是盯着身边的同事。

Another piece of perhaps obvious but valuable advice: Pause before you plunge.
另一个显而易见但非常宝贵的忠告是：在一头扎进去之前请三思。

“Stop and think about yourself in relation to the other person,” advises Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and the author of 16 books on dating and romance.
“停下来想想自己和对方的关系。”华盛顿大学社会学教授佩珀-施瓦茨建议道，她著有16本婚恋作品。

“If you’re in heavy lust, you’ve got to slow down.” McKenna agrees. “Think about the fact that 50% of marriages don’t make it,” she says. “The batting average for other relationships is much worse.”
“如果你用情很深，你就不得不放慢节奏。”麦凯纳表示认同。“想想50%的婚姻都不能走到最后，”她说，“其他关系的平均成功率就更低了。”

One more piece of advice: Consider how you would feel if you lost your job.
还有一条建议：想想如果失去工作，你的感受会是如何。

Everyone who has experienced heartbreak knows that proximity to an ex can be unbearable. All too often, say experts, failed office romances result in one person leaving the job–willfully or not.
任何经历过分手的时候人都知道，与前任恋人抬头不见低头见是多么难以忍受的一件事。专家们称，办公室恋情告吹常常会导致一个人离开公司，无论是否出于本意。

“The possible consequences here are not just the loss of the person you’re gaga over,” says Schwartz. “It could mean the loss of your livelihood.” Brin obviously doesn’t run that risk and it seems his new romantic partner will also be safe, given that she doesn’t report directly to him. But for the rest of us, it’s wise to keep in mind the potential fallout from an office liaison.“
这里可能出现的结果是，你失去的不仅仅是让你为之倾倒的那个人，”施瓦茨说道，“可能还有你的生计。”显然，布林不用冒这个风险，而且考虑到他的新恋人不必直接向他汇报工作，貌似她也比较安全。但是对我们其他人来说，牢牢记住办公室恋情对事业的潜在影响不失为明智之举。