《美食祈祷和恋爱》Chapter 76 (172):巴厘岛人的三个问题

It's not a ludicrous hypothesis, therefore, to say that the Balinese are the global masters of balance, the people for whom the maintenance of perfect equilibrium is an art, a science and a religion. For me, on a personal search for balance, I had hoped to learn much from the Balinese about holding steady in this chaotic world. But the more I read and see about this culture, the more I realize how far off the grid of balance I've fallen, at least from the Balinese perspective. My habit of wandering through this world oblivious to my physical orientation, in addition to my decision to have stepped outside the containing network of marriage and fam-ily, makes me—for Balinese purposes—something like a ghost. I enjoy living this way, but it's a nightmare of a life by the standards of any self-respecting Balinese. If you don't know where you are or whose clan you belong to, then how can you possibly find balance?

因此，说巴厘岛是全世界的平衡大师，并非荒唐可笑的假设；保持完美的平衡状态，对他们而言是一种艺术、科学和宗教。对我而言，在寻求个人平衡时，我期望从巴厘人身上学习在这混乱的世间维持平稳的方式。然而对这文化读得愈多、看得愈多，我更意识到自己与平衡相距甚远，至少从巴厘人的观点看来。我习惯漫游世界却无视于自己身在何处，并决定走出受限的婚姻家庭网络，使我——就巴厘议题而言——成了鬼一样的东西。我喜欢这么过生活，然而就巴厘人的自尊标准看来，却是可怕的生活。你若对自己的定位或所属族群一无所知，如何找到平衡？

Given all this, I'm not so sure how much of the Balinese worldview I'm going to be able to incorporate into my own worldview, since at the moment I seem to be taking a more modern and Western definition of the word equilibrium. (I'm currently translating it as meaning "equal freedom," or the equal possibility of falling in any direction at any given time, depending on . . . you know . . . how things go.) The Balinese don't wait and see "how things go." That would be terrifying. They organize how things go, in order to keep things from falling apart.

尽管如此，我不很确定能把多少巴厘岛人的世界观，纳入自己的世界观内，因为，目前我对"平衡状态"似乎采用较为现代的西方定义。（目前我将这个词转译为"相等自由"，或在特定时间落入任何方向的几率相等，视……形势发展而定。）巴厘岛人不等着"看形势发展而定"。这是可怕的事情。他们直接"安排"形势的发展，免得搞砸事情。

When you are walking down the road in Bali and you pass a stranger, the very first question he or she will ask you is, "Where are you going?" The second question is, "Where are you coming from?" To a Westerner, this can seem like a rather invasive inquiry from a perfect stranger, but they're just trying to get an orientation on you, trying to insert you into the grid for the purposes of security and comfort. If you tell them that you don't know where you're going, or that you're just wandering about randomly, you might instigate a bit of distress in the heart of your new Balinese friend. It's far better to pick some kind of specific direction—anywhere—just so everybody feels better.

走在巴厘岛路上遇见陌生人，他或她问你的第一个问题是："你去哪里？"第二个问题则是："你来自何方？"对西方人来说，素不相识的人提问这类问题似乎颇具侵犯性，但巴厘人只是想给你定位，想让你进入安全舒适的组织系统中。你若告诉他们不知道自己要去哪里，或只是漫无目的到处走，你的巴厘新朋友将感到窘迫。你最好挑选某个特定方向——哪儿都好——让大家感觉好些。

The third question a Balinese will almost certainly ask you is, "Are you married?" Again, it's a positioning and orienting inquiry. It's necessary for them to know this, to make sure that you are completely in order in your life. They really want you to say yes. It's such a relief to them when you say yes. If you're single, it's better not to say so directly. And I really recom-mend that you not mention your divorce at all, if you happen to have had one. It just makes the Balinese so worried. The only thing your solitude proves to them is your perilous disloca-tion from the grid. If you are a single woman traveling through Bali and somebody asks you, "Are you married?" the best possible answer is: "Not yet." This is a polite way of saying, "No," while indicating your optimistic intentions to get that taken care of just as soon as you can.

巴厘岛人几乎肯定问你的第三个问题是："你已婚吗？"又是定位的询问。他们有必要知道这点，以确定你生活在完整的秩序当中。他们真正要你回答的答案是"已婚"。听你说已婚，使他们大感欣慰。你若单身，最好别直接说出来。假使你离了婚，我真心建议你绝口不提。这只会让巴厘人大感忧虑。你的孤寂只是向他们证明脱离组织的危险。你若是在巴厘岛旅行的单身女子，当有人问你："你已婚吗？"最好回答"还没"，这比回答"不"来得礼貌，亦表示你乐观地期待尽早结婚。

Even if you are eighty years old, or a lesbian, or a strident feminist, or a nun, or an eightyyear-old strident feminist lesbian nun who has never been married and never intends to get married, the politest possible answer is still: "Not yet."

即便你已八十岁，或是同性恋者，或是激进的女性主义者，或修女，或八十岁的激进女性主义同性恋修女，从未结婚也不打算结婚，最礼貌的回答还是："还没。"