双语幽默爆笑笑话
看看英文幽默笑话和一些让人笑破肚皮的搞笑小品,让自己好好放松一下。
1、The last chance
最后的机会
The God decided to create “woman”,and he should take a rib from Adam.
上帝决定创造”女人”,但他须要从亚当那得到一支肋骨.
He gave Adam some sleeping-pills smilely,said:”Adam,enjoy the sleepy,this is the last chance that U could enjoy a peacefully sleep without any noise.”
他给了亚当一些安眠药,微笑地对他说:”亚当,尽情享受睡眠吧, 这是你最后一次可以享受这种安静,没有噪音的睡觉机会了.
2、In the Eden,Adam told the God:”I’m lonely,I need a company.”
“Ok,”said the God,”I will give U a perfect woman,beautiful smart and will cook clean and do everything for U,without any complaint and question.”
“Sounds good,”Adam said,”But,to make such a good lady,WHAT is the cost?”
“One arm and One leg.”
“OH,expensive!”after thought for a while,Adam asked:”How about just one RIB?”
2.在天堂里,亚当对上帝说:”我太寂寞了,我须要一个人陪我.”
“好的”,上帝答到.”我将要给你一个完美的女人,美丽,聪明而且温柔,她将毫无怨言地为你烧饭,为你做一切事情.”
“那太好了.” 亚当说道.”但是,要做出这么一个完美的女士,我须要付出什么呢?”
“一只手和一条腿.”
“噢,那代价太大了!”想了一会,亚当接着问:” 一根肋骨怎么样?”
3、The brave heart
A millionaire called on all the bachelors in the city to his home , and take them to a big pool that lived some crocodiles
”I want to find a brave heart,let me see who dare to jump into this pool and swim to the other side--------he will be my son-in-low,get all my fortune and my beautiful daughter.”
Sex! But……Every man looked at each other,with a pale and red dare.
Suddenly, with a “PUTON”,a bachelor jumped into the water,God! He swam towards the other side with a crazy speed!And,with the very lighting speed,he touched the side,and climbed on without even awaking the crocodiles!
The millionaire go ahead and hold his hand:Congratulations !What a brave heart!I suppose U wanna my daughter so much!
“Not at all!”the guy cried,”I just wanna know who son of a bitch pushed me into the poor just now!!”
3.勇士
有一个百万富翁召集了城里所有的单身汉去他家里,并且带着他们来到一个全是鳄鱼的池子边.
“我希望能找到一个勇士,我想看看谁敢跳下这个池子并且游到对面------他将会成为我的女婿,得到我所有的财产和我美丽的女儿.
女人! 但是…..每个人都无力的, 脸红红的,你看着我,我看着你,没一个人敢跳下去.
突然,”扑嗵”一声,天哪! 有个单身汉跳了下去,他以惊人的速度使劲地向对面游去.就像光速一样,他到达了对岸,并爬上岸,还没有惊醒沉睡着的鳄鱼.
这个富翁走上前去握住他的手: “恭喜你! 勇士,我想你一定非常喜欢我女儿.”
“一点也不,”小伙子答到.”我只想知道,刚才是哪个龟儿子把我推下池子的.”
4 .
A software engineer bought his son a basketball, and his son asked, “Where is the manual?”
软件工程师给儿子买了一个篮球，儿子问，“使用手册在哪儿?”
注：儿子受了老爸很大的影响。
5 .
Elevator operator: This is the fifth floor, son.
Child: How dare you call me son. We’re not related.
Elevator operator: Humph! I brought you up didn’t I?
电梯操作员：孩子，这是第五层.
小孩：你凭什么叫我孩子，我们俩又没关系。
电梯操作员：我把你带上来的(我把你养大的)，是不是?
