英语爆笑幽默笑话6篇
英语爆笑幽默笑话：
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.
一个画家问画廊的主人有没有人对他正在展览的画作感兴趣。
I've got good news and bad news, the owner replied.
我有个好消息，又有个坏消息要告诉你，主人说。
The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.
好消息就是一位绅士向你的画作询价并想知道你死后那些画会不会升值。当我告诉他会以后，他便买下了你全部的15幅作品。
That's wonderful! the artist exclaimed, What's the bad news?. With concern, the gallery owner replied, The guy was your doctor.
那太好了!画家惊叹道，那坏消息呢?主人面露关切之色，回答道：那个人是你的医生。
英语爆笑幽默笑话：
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。
母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。
露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?
英语爆笑幽默笑话：
Patient:I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.
Surgeon:I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.
病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。
外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。
英语爆笑幽默笑话：Class, Lass and Ass
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,
so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.
A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
班级、情人和蠢驴
汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：汤姆教授明天将和大家见面。
一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将class中的c擦掉，将意思变为汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面。教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把lass中的l擦掉，将意思改为汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面。看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。
英语爆笑幽默笑话：可怜的男人
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”
男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。”
酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”
男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。”
英语爆笑幽默笑话：太黑了，看不见
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
