四则趣味英语笑话

下面是本站小编整理的四则经典趣味英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　经典英语笑话：不要瞎混

"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "

“请对我温柔一些，亲爱的!”新婚之夜新娘对新郎说道。“我是个处女。”

"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her husband with surprise.

“你是个处女?”她丈夫吃惊地叫道，

"But you've been married three times. "

“可是你已经结过三次婚了啊。”

"That's true. dear; but my first husband was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;

“没错，亲爱的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位艺术家，他只想看我的身体。

my second husband was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;

我的第二任丈夫从事广告业，而他只是告诉我那件事会有多美好。

and my third husband was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. ,"

我的第三任丈夫是位律师，他总是说：‘下星期我就回来看你。"

经典英语笑话：专注于工作

The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invited her to his private quarters to discuss her confession.

一位神父非常关切教区内一位年轻美丽的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住处讨论她的忏悔。

"Now, let me get this straight," said the priest. "This young man you went out with did he put his arm around your shoulder like this?"

“现在让我把事情搞清楚，”神父说道，“这个年轻人跟你出去他是不是像这样把他的手臂绕在你的肩膀?”

"Yes, Father, and worse. "

“是的，神父，还有更糟的事情呢。”

"And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?"

“他也像这样把手放在你的大腿上吗?"

"Yes, Father, and worse. "

“是的，神父，还有更坏的呢。”

By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl's skirt and gave her a vigorous humping. "And did he do this?" he inquired.

此时神父已被刺激得兴奋莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元气充沛地和她做起爱来，“他也这样做吗?"神父问道。

"Yes, Father, and worse, "

“是的，神父，还有更糟的呢!”

“ But what could be worse than what Ijust did?"

“有什么还比我刚刚所做的更糟呢?"

"I'm afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap."

“恐怕，神父，他把淋病传染给我了。”

经典英语笑话：你能不能多支持我一点

The delighted young politician called his Mother and reported enthusiastically,

一位年轻的政客打电话给他母亲，高兴地说道：

"Hey, Mom, I just won the election! "

“嘿，妈，我刚赢得这次的选举呢!”

"Honestly, dear?" exclaimed his mother.

“你没在骗我吧，亲爱的?”他的妈妈惊叫。

" Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?"

“喔，妈!在这种时刻你还要提出像这样的问题吗?(你这时还不相信我吗/你还以为我是政客的虚假作风吗?)不相信我吗?”

经典英语笑话：完美解决之道

President Shrub was flying over the U. S. with hisstaff.

史拉伯总统和他的幕僚正搭机横越美国上空。

Suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration:

忽然间他心中突发奇想，

"You know, I think I'll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy. "

“我想由窗口扔一张五十元美钞下去，让某个人高兴一下。”

"MrPresident,why don't you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy?"

“总统先生，您为什么不丢五张十元的钞票让五个人高兴呢?”

suggested his celebrated Secretary of State Vice President Partridge caught on.

著名的国务卿建议道。

“Golly,ident, why don' t you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy?"

副总统派翠基接着说：“啊，总统先生，您为什么不丢五十张一元钞票，好让五十个人高兴呢?”

The pilot turned around and said, "Why don’t you just throw yourself out the window and make everybody happy?"

这时飞机驾驶员转身说道：“为什么你不把自己丢出窗外，好让每个人都高兴呢?”