趣味经典英语笑话四则

下面是本站小编整理的趣味英语笑话四则，希望大家喜欢!

　经典英语笑话：古老的中国智慧

Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foo bird could restore the imperial health.

很久很久以前在古老的中国，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御医都没办法医治，直到后来才有一位智者透露，只有活福鸟的血才能恢复皇帝的健康。

Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almostlegendary,and the greatest hunters in the land were assigned the task of capturing a specimen-but before they left on their quest, the ancient sage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should on no account clean or change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.

问题是福鸟本来就很少见，几乎只是传说而已，于是全国各地最好的猎人都被指派进行捕捉福鸟的工作。但在他们出发之前，那名智者警告他们，要是有人有幸捉到一只福鸟的话，无论如何在送到皇帝手中之前，绝不可以清洁或换掉身上的衣服。

The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted a magnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the bird and managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blob of excrement on the hunter's shoulder.

猎人们搜遍了整个帝国，几个月后，其中一名本领最好的猎人不经意看见了一只福鸟栖息在一棵树上。他用尽所有技巧偷偷接近那只福鸟并抓住了它的脚爪，但那只受到惊卟的福鸟马上在他的肩膀上拉了一大团臭气熏人的鸟粪。

Though the stench was almost unbearable, the woodsman remembered the sage's injunction and carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had only become worse, and the hunter was deeply lly, he felt that he could not enter the emperor's presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from his shoulder.

虽然臭味难当，但猎人仍记得智者的训示，便连同身上的鸟粪护送福鸟回宫。那时鸟粪的味道更难闻了，猎人也觉得非常尴尬。最后他觉得不能那个样子去见皇帝，于是他把肩膀上令人作呕的东西擦拭掉了。

Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, the emperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunter was clapped in the moral of the story is: If the Foo shits,wear it!

就在那一刻福鸟便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加恶化，而那名猎人则立刻被关进牢中。这个故事的寓意就是：“福鸟在你身上拉尿，你就扛着。”

经典英语笑话：用脸去敲钟

Quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of Notre Dame the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.

钟楼怪人刚去世，因此教区的神父正在找一位驼背的人来敲巴黎圣母院的大钟。但是第一个去应征的不仅是驼背，而且连手也没有。

'Of course, I'd like to give you the job," said the priest,"but how will you manage it?" "Never fear," replied the dauntless paraplegic. "Just watch;! "

“当然，我愿意给你这个工作机会，”神父说道，“可是你怎么去敲钟呢?”“别怕，”勇敢的残疾者答道。“待会看了你就知道。”

The two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. However, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.

两个人走上钟楼，应征者用脸撞那个大钟，响了好一阵子，效果良好。驼子又撞了几次。可是不久他就觉得头晕目眩，下一次竟然落了空，掉到钟塔外，跌死在下面的庭院里。

The priest rushed down to the crumpled body, over which a policeman was already standing. "Do you know this fellow's name?" asked the cop. "No, but his face certainly rings a bell!"

神父冲到跌得皱成一团的尸体之处，有个警察已经站在那里。"你知道这个家伙的名字吗"察问道。“不知道，但他的脸孔好熟喔!”

经典英语笑话：介词问题

A new student was just finding his way around Harvard University.

一位哈佛大学新生正在熟悉校园环境。

"Excuse me," he aske an upperclassman, "can you tell me where the library's at?"

“对不起，”他问一位高年级学长，“您能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗?”

"What appalling diction," sneered the olderstudent. "I can't imagine how you could have been admitted to Harvard.

“好可怕的用字喔!”那名学长嘲弄他道。

Don' t you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition?"

"不知道你老弟是怎么获准进入哈佛的。难道你不知道介词不要放在一个句子后面吗?"

"OK. Can you tell me where the library's at, asshole?"

“好吧!你能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗，驴蛋?”

　经典英语笑话：我没有服药

A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctorprovided him with some suppositories.

有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦，因此医生给他一些利肠的栓剂。

A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

一星期后病人回来告诉医生，他的状况尚未改进。

"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"

“我觉得好奇怪，”医生说。“你有没有采用我开给你的药方呢?”

"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”

"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”