四则爆笑趣味英语笑话

下面是本站小编整理的四则爆笑趣味英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

经典英语笑话：这是个法律问题

A slender, delicate, immaculately dressed Englishman was explaining to the visiting American about British law.

一位身材修长，举止文雅，穿着光鲜的英国人向来访的美国人解释英国法律。

"You know, homosexuality was once consideredso heinous in Britain that it was punishable by execution.

“你知道吗?在英国，同性恋从前被认为是罪大恶极，可判处极刑，

Only 100 years ago, it was reduced to a misdemeanor,

一百年前，被减为行为失检之轻微罪刑。

and about 50 years ago, decriminalized altogether. . .

大约五十年前则完全不触犯刑法……。

Personally, I shan't be satisfied till it's mandatory! "

不过就我个人而言，非要等到法令强制大家都得同性恋时，我才会开心。”

　经典英语笑话：骄傲的老爸

The concerned father was puzzled because his son s grades had been dropping steadily while he was at college,

一位关心儿子的老爸对于念大学的儿子成绩每况愈下一直想不懂，

so he called the dean to find out what was wrong.

因此他拜访了学院的院长，想了解究竟问题在哪里。

"Weil, sir," replied the dean, who always tried to be diplomatic,

说话总是讲求圆滑的院长回答说：

"I've got some good news and some bad news.

“先生，我有好消息和坏消息要告诉你。

The bad news is that your son's become the most flagrant homosexual on campus,

坏消息是令郎乃是闻名校内的同性恋者，

and spends all his time chasing after the lads on the football and basketball teams. "

他成天只知道追求足球队和篮球队的男孩子。

"My God, that's horrible!"

“我的老天爷，太可怕了!”

"But the good news is he's just been elected Queen of the Homecoming Parade ! "

“但好消息是他刚被选为欢迎球队返校游行的皇后!”

经典英语笑话：等明年再说

The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast.

一位女士和她先生正在用早餐，她边吃边看报纸。

"Did you hear about this, dear?" she asked.

“亲爱的，你听过这则新闻吗?”她问道。

"It seems a man traded his wife for seasontickets to the Spurs.

“似乎是一个男的为了看马刺队的比赛，用他太太跟人换了球季的门票。

You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?"

你不会那么做吧，亲爱的?”

"No way," answered the husband.

“我才不会那么傻呢!”先生答道。

"The season's almost half over."

“今年球季几乎都过了一大半了."

经典英语笑话：真是恩爱的一对

Two women friends were having tea.

两个女人正在喝茶，

Said one to the other,

其中一位对另一位说道：

"I've been trying to reach my lawyer for a week ... "

“我已经花了一个礼拜找我的律师，….。”

"Oh, please don't mention lawyers to me" interrupted the recent widow,

“哦，拜托别再向我提律师的事了，”那位刚死去丈夫的女人插嘴道，

I've had so much trouble settling my husbands estate that I sometimes wish he hadn't died! "

“我在处理我先生遗留的房地产时遭遇到好多麻烦，有时候我真希望他没死就好了。