用英语讲个笑话
笑话不仅能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,而且,笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。下面是本站小编带来的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。 他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”
英语笑话带翻译篇二Very stupid robbers 两个笨贼
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧!”
第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊!”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信!”
英语笑话带翻译篇三听笑话学英语:Free advice? 免费的建议?
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interruptedby people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hourof this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from askingyou for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked,but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared thebills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
医生和律师正在一个宴会上交谈。他们的谈话常被一些人打断，那些人向医生描述自己的病症，期望获得免费的治疗建议。如此这般一个钟头后，医生有点恼火，于是他问律师：“如果不在办公时间，你是怎么阻止人们向你咨询法律问题的?”
“我会给他们建议，”律师回答，“然后我会给他们寄去帐单”。医生很震惊，但他还是决定这么试一试。第二天，带着点犯罪感，他准备了帐单。当他准备将它们放到邮箱里时，发现了一张来自律师的帐单。
英语笑话带翻译篇四Chicken soup 鸡汤
Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, "I don't likechicken soup, bring something else." The hospital worker said, "It's good for you, the doctorsaid you should have it." Regardless, the patient refused to eat it. That night, a patient in theroom with Joe had a bad stomach pain so the nurses came in to give him an enema. Bymistake, they gave the enema to Joe. The following week, when he was leaving the hospital, anew patient asked him how he liked the hospital. He told him, "Well, the hospital itself is prettygood, but they're very strict about their food. when they bring up chicken soup you better eatit, or else they'll come back in the middle of the night and shove it up your behind!"
Joe在住院，一天午餐时间，他看了看自己的饭菜，说：“我不喜欢鸡汤，拿点别的给我吧。”医院的护工说：“鸡汤对您的身体有好处，医生说您得喝这个。” 无论如何，Joe还是不肯喝。那天晚上，和Joe同房间的一个病人得了严重的胃病，于是护士过来给他灌肠。可是他们搞错了，给Joe做了灌肠。第二个礼拜，Joe出院时，新住进来的病人问他觉得医院怎么样。Joe告诉他：“这个医院本身是很好的，但是他们对伙食真的很严格，如果他们让你喝鸡汤，你最好喝了它，不然他们会半夜过来硬是从你后面塞进去!”
英语笑话带翻译篇五Chaude and Cold 热与冷
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is anoutrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live inMontreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
蒙特利尔咖啡馆的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的水龙头，结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”
“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法语里代表'热'。如果您住在蒙特利尔的话就应该知道这一点。”
“等等，”那位顾客咆哮着，“另外一个龙头标的也是C。”
“那当然，”经理说道：“这个C代表冷。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。”
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