经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章9

“A phone call, sir.”
“For me? Here? Hey, but who knows where I am?”
One of his minds raced. The other dawdled lovingly over the food it was still shovelling in.
“Excuse me if I carry on, won’t you?” said his eating head and carried on.
There were now so many people after him he’d lost count. He shouldn’t have made such a conspicuous entrance. Hell, why not though, he thought. How do you know you’re having fun if there’s no one watching you have it?
“Maybe someone here tipped off the Galactic Police,” said Trillian. “Everyone saw you come in.”
“You mean they want to arrest me over the phone?” said Zaphod, “Could be. I’m a pretty dangerous dude when I’m concerned.”
“Yeah,” said a voice from under the table, “you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.”
“Hey, what is this, Judgment Day?” snapped Zaphod.
“Do we get to see that as well?” asked Arthur nervously.
“I’m in no hurry,” muttered Zaphod, “OK, so who’s the cat on the phone?” He kicked Ford. “Hey get up there, kid,” he said to him, “I may need you.”
“I am not,” said the waiter, “personally acquainted with the metal gentleman in question, sir…”
“Metal?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Did you say metal?”
“Yes, sir. I said that I am not personally acquainted with the metal gentleman in question…”
“OK, carry on.”
“But I am informed that he has been awaiting your return for a considerable number of millennia. It seems you left here somewhat precipitately.”
“Left here?” said Zaphod, “are you being strange? We only just arrived here.”
“Indeed, sir,” persisted the waiter doggedly, “but before you arrived here, sir, I understand that you left here.”
Zaphod tried this in one brain, then in the other.
“You’re saying,” he said, “that before we arrived here, we left here?”
This is going to be a long night, thought the waiter.
“Precisely, sir,” he said.

“一个电话，先生。”
“找我的？在这儿？嘿，可是谁会知道我在这儿？”
他的一个脑子迅速思考着，另一个则依然爱恋地关注着他正大口大口吃进嘴里的食物。
“请原谅我继续进餐，行吗？”他正在吃东西的那个脑袋说，然焉继续进餐。
想抓他的人有那么多，他已经数不过来了。他本来不该以这么惹人注目的方式闯进来见鬼，为什么不？他想。如果没有人看到你玩得开心的话，你怎么知道自己玩得开心呢’
“也许这里有什么人向银河系警察告了密，”崔莉恩说，“人人都看见你进来的。”
“你是说他们想在电话那头逮捕我？”赞福德说，“可能吧。如果被逼到绝境，我会是个相当危险的家伙。”
“是的，”一个声音从桌子下面传来，“你会马上土崩瓦解，进成碎片。速度之快，别人会被碎片伤着的。”
“嘿，这箅什么话，难道今天是末日审判日？”赞福德厉声说，
“你也这么认为，”阿瑟紧张地问。
“我可没那么急切地奔赴末日审判日。”赞福德喃喃地说，“好吧，咱们来瞧瞧，电话那头究竟是何方神圣？”他踢了踢福特，“嘿，快起来，伙计，”他对他说，“我可能会需要你。”
“我本人，”侍者说，“并不认识你们所说的那位金属先生，先生。”
“金属？”
“是的，先生。”
“你是说金属吗？”
“是的，先生。我是说我本人并不认识你们所说的那位金属先生！”
“好的，继续说下去。”
“但是我被告知，他在这里等您回来已经有很多个千年了。看来当初您离开得有些突然、”
“离开！”赞福德说，“你有毛病吗，我们才刚刚到这里。”
“确实是这样，先生，”侍者周执地坚持说，“可是按照我的理解，您在到达之前离开了这里，先生。”
赞福德在一个脑子里思考这个问题，然后叉换成另外一个脑子，
“你的意思是，”他说，“在我到这里来之前，我们已经离开了这里，”
这将是一个漫长难熬的夜晚，侍者心里想。
“完全正确，先生。”他说。