经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第7章3

“You’re thinking along the wrong lines,” said Marvin, “You’re failing to take into account something fairly basic in the relationship between men and robots.”
“Er, I know,” said the battle machine, “is it…” it tailed off into thought again.
“Just think,” urged Marvin, “they left me, an ordinary, menial robot, to stop you, a gigantic heavy-duty battle machine, whilst they ran off to save themselves. What do you think they would leave me with?”
“Oooh, er,” muttered the machine in alarm, “something pretty damn devastating I should expect.”
“Expect!” said Marvin, “oh yes, expect. I’ll tell you what they gave me to protect myself with, shall I?”
“Yes, alright,” said the battle machine, bracing itself.
“Nothing,” said Marvin.
There was a dangerous pause.
“Nothing?” roared the battle machine.
“Nothing at all,” intoned Marvin dismally, “not an electronic sausage.”
The machine heaved about with fury.
“Well, doesn’t that just take the biscuit!” it roared, “Nothing, eh? Just don’t think, do they?”
“And me,” said Marvin in a soft low voice, “with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.”
“Makes you spit, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” agreed Marvin with feeling.
“Hell, that makes me angry,” bellowed the machine, “think I’ll smash that wall down!”
The electron ram stabbed out another searing blaze of light and took out the wall next to the machine.
“How do you think I feel?” said Marvin bitterly.
“Just ran off and left you, did they?” the machine thundered.
“Yes,” said Marvin.
“I think I’ll shoot down their bloody ceiling as well!” raged the tank.
It took out the ceiling of the bridge.
“That’s very impressive,” murmured Marvin.
“You ain’t seeing nothing yet,” promised the machine, “I can take out this floor too, no trouble!”
It took out the floor, too.
“Hell’s bells!” the machine roared as it plummeted fifteen storeys and smashed itself to bits on the ground below.
“What a depressingly stupid machine,” said Marvin and trudged away.

“你考虑的方向完全错了。”马文说，“你应该多想想人类和机器人之间的关系，其中有一些相当基本的东西。”
“嗯，我知道了，”战斗机器说，“是不是……？”声音逐渐减弱，它又陷入了思考。
“好好想想。”马文鼓励它说，“他们把我留下来。让我，一个普普通通的机器仆人，来阻止你，一台肩负重要使命的巨型战斗机器。而他们自己却跑掉逃命去了。你认为他们会留给我什么东西呢？”
“哦，呃，嗯，”机器警觉地咕哝道，“一定是某种威力强得吓死人的毁灭性武器。我早该料到这一点的。”
“料到！”马文说，“噢，是的，料到。想不想让我告诉你，他们给了我什么东西来保护我自己？”
“是的，太好了。”战斗机器精神一振。
“什么都没有。”马文说。
然后是一阵危险的停顿。
“什么也没有？”战斗机器咆哮道。
“根本什么也没有。”马文拖长声调，凄凉地说，“连根电子香肠都没有。”
机器因为狂怒而喘息着。
“哼，哪怕有根电子香肠也好啊，总比饼干强！”它继续咆哮道。“什么也没有，嗯？他们根本没想过我们，对吗？”
“而我，”马文有气无力地低声说到，“我左侧身子下部所有的二极管都疼得要命。”
“所以更应该扔掉你？”
“他们是这样想的。”马文由衷地说。
“该死，我太愤怒了。”机器吼了一句，“气得我想把那堵墙打个粉碎！”
说着，它的电击刺又发出一道灼热的亮光，摧毁了旁边的一堵墙。
“连你都这么生气，你觉得我会作何感想？”马文苦涩地问。
“他们就这样逃掉了，撇下你，是吗？”机器轰鸣着说。
“是啊。”马文说。
“气得我想把天花板也打个粉碎！”坦克咆哮道。
说着它摧毁了拱廊桥的天花板。
“我真是大开眼界。”马文喃喃地说。
“你还没看见真格的呢，”机器向他保证道，“我甚至能摧毁桥面，不费吹灰之力！”
然后它真的摧毁了桥面。
“真他妈见鬼！”机器咆哮着，从十五层楼上直直坠了下去，在下边的地面上摔得粉碎。
“真是一台蠢得让人伤心的机器。”马文扔下一句，拖着沉重的步子走开了。