经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第33章3

“Yes, in two million years’ time. Why don’t you tell them that? Go and say to them, ‘Excuse me, I’d just like to point out that in two million years’ time I will be born just a few miles from here.’ See what they say. They’ll chase you up a tree and set fire to it.”
Arthur absorbed this unhappily.
“Face it,” said Ford, “those zeebs over there are your ancestors, not these poor creatures here.”
He went over to where the apemen creatures were rummaging listlessly with the stone letters. He shook his head.
“Put the Scrabble away, Arthur,” he said, “it won’t save the human race, because this lot aren’t going to be the human race. The human race is currently sitting round a rock on the other side of this hill making documentaries about themselves.”
Arthur winced.
“There must be something we can do,” he said. A terrible sense of desolation thrilled through his body that he should be here, on the Earth, the Earth which had lost its future in a horrifying arbitrary catastrophe and which now seemed set to lose its past as well.
“No,” said Ford, “there’s nothing we can do. This doesn’t change the history of the Earth, you see, this is the history of the Earth. Like it or leave it, the Golgafrinchans are the people you are descended from. in two million years they get destroyed by the Vogons. History is never altered you see, it just fits together like a jigsaw. Funny old thing, life, isn’t it?”
He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn’t stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the bank of a stream which subsequently washed it away.
During the following weeks Ford Prefect swallowed his pride and struck up a relationship with a girl who had been a personnel officer on Golgafrincham, and he was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking water from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.
Like most of the really crucial things in life, this chain of events was completely invisible to Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. They were looking sadly at one of the natives morosely pushing the other letters around.
“Poor bloody caveman,” said Arthur.
“They’re not…”
“What?”
“Oh never mind.”
The wretched creature let out a pathetic howling noise and banged on the rock.
“It’s all been a bit of waste of time for them, hasn’t it?” said Arthur.
“Uh uh urghhhhh,” muttered the native and banged on the rock again. “They’ve been outevolved by telephone sanitizers.”
“Urgh, gr gr, gruh!” insisted the native, continuing to bang on the rock.
“Why does he keep banging on the rock?” said Arthur.

“是的，二百万年之后。你为什么不告诉他们这个呢？走过去对他们说，‘请原谅，我只是想指出，二百万年之后，我将出生在距离这里仅仅几英里的地方。看看他们会说些什么。他们会把你绑在一棵树上，然后放把火。”
阿瑟闷闷不乐地听着。
“正视现实吧，”福特说，“那边那些家伙才是你的祖奇$%^書*（网！&*$收集整理先，而不是这里这些可怜的生物。”
他朝无精打采地摆弄石块字母的猿人们那边走过去，一边摇着手。
“别管什么拼字游戏了，阿瑟，”他说，“它拯救不了人类，因为这个种群根本成不了人类。人类这个种族现在正在山耶边嘲着一块岩石坐着，拍关于他们自己的记录片。”
阿瑟不禁有点畏缩。
“我们肯定还是能做些事情的。”他说。一种可怕的孤独，凄凉之感淹没了他。他在这儿，在地球上，但地球已经在一场随意的可怕灾难中失去了未来，现在似乎叉要丧失它的过去：
“不，”福特说，”我们什么也不能做。这不是改变了地球的历史，你瞧，这本身就是地球的历史。不管你接不接受，但事实如此：高尔伽弗林壹姆人是你们的祖先。二百万年之后，他们被沃贡人毁灭了。历史从来不会改变，它只不过像拼板玩具一样，是一块块拼起来的。生活真奇妙，不是吗，”
他捡起字母Q，用力扔进远处的一片女贞树丛中，击中了那儿的一只小兔子。这只兔子受了惊，跑个不停，直到被一只孤狸袭击、吃掉，而这只孤狸则被一根骨头卡住，在一条小溪岸窒息而死，随后被小溪冲走了。
接下来的几星期，福特长官抛开自己的骄傲，开始和一个女孩建立起某种关系。在高尔伽弗林查姆上时，她是一个人事官员。后来，她却因为喝了被一具死狐狸的尸体污染的池塘里的水死掉了，让福特感到极度伤感。从这个故事里只可能得出一个教训，那就是，一个人永远不应该把字母Q扔进一片女贞树丛，但不幸的是，有些时候，这种行为是不可避免的。
生活中大多数真正至关重要的事情往往被人忽视，这一系列前因后果也一样，完全被福特长官和阿瑟·邓特所忽略了。此刻，他们正伤心地看着一个土著人愁眉苦脸地摆弄着另外一些字母。
“可怜的穴居人。”阿瑟说。
“他们不是”
“什么？”
“噢，没什么。”幅特说。
这个可怜的生物发出一声悲惨的嚎叫，重重地一拳砸在岩石上。
“对他们来说，这有点儿像是浪费时间，不是吗？”阿瑟说，
“呜，呜，呜哇。”土著人咕哝道，又是一拳砸在岩石上：“在进化过程中，他们必将败在电话消毒员们的手下。”
“鸣哇，咕，咕，”土著人同执地叫道，一边继续用拳头砸岩石。
“为什么他要一直砸岩石呢？”阿瑟说。