经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第18章3

“Yes,” he said, “look, the infra-pink lizard emblem on the neutrino cowling. Lazlar’s trade mark. The man has no shame.”
“I was passed by one of these mothers once, out by the Axel Nebula,” said Ford, “I was going flat out and this thing just strolled past me, star drive hardly ticking over. Just incredible.”
Zaphod whistled appreciatively.
“Ten seconds later”, said Ford, “it smashed straight into the third moon of Jaglan Beta.”
“Yeah, right?”
“Amazing looking ship though. Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow.”
Ford looked round the other side.
“Hey, come and see,” he called out, “there’s a big mural painted on this side. A bursting sun Disaster Area’s trade mark. This must be Hotblack’s ship. Lucky old bugger. They do this terrible song you know which ends with a stuntship crashing into the sun. Meant to be an amazing spectacle. Expensive in stunt ships though.”
Zaphod’s attention however was elsewhere. His attention was riveted on the ship standing next to Hotblack Desiato’s limo. His mouths hung open.
“That,” he said, “that… is really bad for the eyes…”
Ford looked. He too stood astonished.
It was a ship of classic, simple design, like a flattened salmon, twenty yards long, very clean, very sleek. There was just one remarkable thing about it.
“It’s so… black!” said Ford Prefect, “you can hardly make out its shape… light just seems to fall into it!”
Zaphod said nothing. He had simply fallen in love.
The blackness of it was so extreme that it was almost impossible to tell how close you were standing to it.
“Your eyes just slide off it…” said Ford in wonder. It was an emotional moment. He bit his lip.
Zaphod moved forward to it, slowly, like a man possessed or more accurately like a man who wanted to possess. His hand reached out to stroke it. His hand stopped. His hand reached out to stroke it again. His hand stopped again.
“Come and feel the surface,” he said in a hushed voice.
Ford put his hand out to feel it. His hand stopped.
“You… you can’t…” he said.
“See?” said Zaphod, “it’s just totally frictionless. This must be one mother of a mover…”
He turned to look at Ford seriously. At least, one of his heads did the other stayed gazing in awe at the ship.
“What do you reckon, Ford?” he said.
“You mean… er…” Ford looked over his shoulder. “You mean stroll off with it? You think we should?”
“No.”
“Nor do I.”
“But we’re going to, aren’t we?”
“How can we not?”
They gazed a little longer, till Zaphod suddenly pulled himself together.
“We better shift soon,” he said. “In a moment or so the Universe will have ended and all the Captain Creeps will be pouring down here to find their bourge-mobiles.”
“Zaphod,” said Ford.
“Yeah?”
“How do we do it?”
“Simple,” said Zaphod. He turned. “Marvin!” he called.
Slowly, laboriously, and with a million little clanking and creaking noises that he had learned to simulate, Marvin turned round to answer the summons.
“Come on over here,” said Zaphod, “We’ve got a job for you.”
Marvin trudged towards them.
“I won’t enjoy it,” he said.

“没错。”他说，“你瞧，中微子整流罩上有粉红外线的蜥蜴图案，这是兰兹拉的标志。这人真他妈不要脸。”
“我曾经被一艘像这样的操蛋玩意儿从旁边超了一次，在阿克塞尔星云外面。”福特说，“当时我已经开到虽高速度了，可这玩意儿随随便使就超了我，根本不当回事，星际推进器甚至没有加大马力。简直难以置信。”
赞福德欣赏地吹了一声口哨。
“十秒钟之后，”福特说，“它直直坠毁在贾葛兰贝塔星的三号月球上。”
“哦，是吗？”
“不过，外观倒确实不错。看上去像条鱼，行动起来也像条鱼，开起来却像头牛。”
福特看了一眼飞船的另外一侧。
“嘿，快来看，”他喊道，“这边有一幅大壁画。一颗正在爆炸的太阳——‘灾难地带’的标志。这一定是霍特布莱克的飞船。幸运的老混蛋：你知道，他们搞出了那首可怕的曲子，居然以一艘特技飞船撞向太阳作为结尾。他们就是想搞出个大场面来，当然，特技飞船贵得要命，”
可赞福德的注意力却在别的地方。他的注意力完全集中在停在霍特布莱克·迪西艰阳均豪华飞船旁边的那艘飞船上。他的两张嘴张得大大的。
“这，”他说，“这……真的对眼睛很不好。”
福特看过去，他同样惊讶得呆住了。
这是一艘传统的飞船，设计很简单，像一条扁平的鲑鱼，二十码长，非常干净，非常光滑，它浑身上下只有一处地方硅得不寻常，
“它太黑了！”福特长官说，“黑得连它的形状都很难判断……光线似乎都掉进它里面去了！”
赞福德什么也没说：他对它简直是一见钟情e
它黑得如此纯粹，以至于几乎不口J能判断出你站得离它有多远。
“连你的目光也会从它上面滑开……”福特惊讶地说。这真是让人心潮澎湃的一刻，他咬着自己的嘴唇。
赞福德走近这艘飞船，步子非常缓慢，像被它抓住了——或者更准确地说，像要抓住它。他伸出手去抚摸它。他的手停住了。他再次伸出手，却再次停住了。
“你来，感觉一下它的表面。”他悄声说。
于是福特也伸出手来。他的手停住了。
“你……你无法……”他说。
“瞧见了吗？”赞福德说，“完全没有摩擦，这东西一定快得他蚂的要命！”
他转过身来，严肃地望着福特。至少，他的其中一个脑袋是这么做的——另一个则继续敬畏地盯着这艘飞船。
“你是怎么想的，福特，”他问。
“你的意思是…嗯——”福特的目光越过他的肩膀，“你的意思是把它开出去逛逛？你觉得这么做合适吗？”
“不。”
“我也觉得不合适。”
“但我们会这么做的，不是吗？”
“我们怎么能不这么做呢？”
他们又相互对望了一会儿。最后，赞福德突然控制住了自己的感情。
“我们最好马上行动：”他说，“再过一会儿，宇宙就要终结了。然后，所有那些没有品位的家伙就会一窝蜂地冲下来，寻找他们这些破破烂烂、平平无奇的飞船。”
“赞福德。”福特说。
“什么？”
“我们怎么干？”
“很简单。”赞福德说。他回过身，“马文！”他喊道。
马戈缓慢、吃力地转过身来，同时发出上百万种叮叮当当、吱吱嘎嘎的噪音。（模拟出这种声音是他学到的一个小窍门。）
“到这边来，”赞福德说，“我们有个任务交给你。”
马文蹒跚着向他们走来。
“我不会喜欢你交代的工作。”他说。