经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第18章6

“And now,” cried Max from the centre of the stage, “the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” He flung his arms into the air. Behind him, the band went into a frenzy of percussion and rolling synthochords. Max had argued with them about this but they had claimed it was in their contract that that’s what they would do. His agent would have to sort it out.
“The skies begin to boil!” he cried. “Nature collapses into the screaming void! In twenty seconds’ time, the Universe itself will be at an end! See where the light of infinity bursts in upon us!”
The hideous fury of destruction blazed about them and at that moment a still small trumpet sounded as from an infinite distance. Max’s eyes swivelled round to glare at the band. None of them seemed to be playing a trumpet. Suddenly a wisp of smoke was swirling and shimmering on the stage next to him. The trumpet was joined by more trumpets. Over five hundred times Max had done this show, and nothing like this had ever happened before. He drew back in alarm from the swirling smoke, and as he did so, a figure slowly materialized inside, the figure of an ancient man, bearded, robed and wreathed in light. In his eyes were stars and on his brow a golden crown.
“What’s this?” whispered Max, wild-eyed, “what’s happening?”
At the back of the Restaurant the stony-faced party from the Church of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon leapt ecstatically to their feet chanting and crying.
Max blinked in amazement. He threw up his arms to the audience.
“A big hand please, ladies and gentlemen,” he hollered, “for the Great Prophet Zarquon! He has come! Zarquon has come again!”
Thunderous applause broke out as Max strode across the stage and handed his microphone to the Prophet.
Zarquon coughed. He peered round at the assembled gathering. The stars in his eyes blinked uneasily. He handled the microphone with confusion.
“Er…” he said, “hello. Er, look, I’m sorry I’m a bit late. I’ve had the most ghastly time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment.”
He seemed nervous of the expectant awed hush. He cleared his throat.
“Er, how are we for time?” he said, “have I just got a min-“
And so the Universe ended.

“现在，”舞台中央的马克斯说，“你们所有人翘首以待的时刻终于来到了！”他朝空中挥动着手臂：在他身后，乐队来了一阵狂暴的打击乐。马克斯曾经和他们争论，让他们这么干，但他们宣称，这是合同里要求他们做的事。看来得需要他的经纪人澄清这个问题。
“天空沸腾了！”他叫道，“宇宙坍塌进尖叫的虚空中！在二十秒之内，宇宙将迎来一次终结！看吧，那边，无限之光正在我们上方爆发！”
毁灭的狂暴围绕着他们——就在这时，一阵相当微弱的号角声从仿怫是无限远的地方传米。马克斯环视整个乐队，似乎没有人吹号。突然，一股烟雾盘旋闪烁着，浮现在舞台上，就在他身旁号角声更大了，好像参加吹奏的号角更多了。马克斯主持这样的表演已经不下五百次了，但此前从来没有出现过类似情形。他警觉地从盘旋的烟雾中退出来。就在他这样做的时候，一个人形慢慢地从烟雾中最现出来。这是一个古代人，满脸虬髯，身着长袍，笼罩存光环中。星光在他眼中闪耀，他头上戴着一顶金色的王冠。
“这是什么？”马克斯喃喃自语，瞪圆了眼睛，“发生了什么事？”
餐馆后部，来自“伟大先知扎昆的第二次降临”教派的那伙人，原本面无表情，现在却欣喜若狂地跳了起来，吟唱着颂歌，放声尖叫着。
马克斯惊讶地眨巴着眼睛，看着他们。然后，他朝观众猛地举起手臂。
“请来阵热烈的掌声，女士们，先生们，”他大声喊道，“为了伟大的先知扎昆！他降临了！扎昆再次降临了！”
马克斯大步跨过舞台，将手里的麦克风递给这位先知。下面爆发出雷鸣般的掌声。
扎昆咳嗽一声。他环顾台下聚集的人群，他眼中的星光不安地闪烁着。他迷惑地摆弄着手里的麦克风。
“嗯…”他说，“你们好。嗯，瞧，我很抱歉来迟了一点儿。我刚度过了一段简直糟糕至极的时光，到了最后一刻，所有的事情都突然冒了出来。”
面对这种充满了期待和敬畏的肃静，他似乎有些紧张。他清了清嗓子。
“嗯，我们还有多少时间，”他说，“我能有一分……”
正在此时，宇宙终结了。