经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第6章3

“Can I ask you why you want to see Mr. Zarniwoop?”
“Yeah,” said Zaphod, who was unclear on this point himself, “I told myself I had to.”
“Come again sir?”
Zaphod leaned forward, conspirationally.
“I just materialized out of thin air in one of your cafes,” he said, “as a result of an argument with the ghost of my great grandfather. No sooner had I got there that my former self, the one that operated on my brain, popped into my head and said ‘Go see Zarniwoop’. I have never heard of the cat. That is all I know. That and the fact that I’ve got to find the man who rules the Universe.”
He winked.
“Mr. Beeblebrox, sir,” said the insect in awed wonder, “you’re so weird you should be in movies.”
“Yeah,” said Zaphod patting the thing on a glittering pink wing, “and you, baby, should be in real life.”
The insect paused for a moment to recover from its agitation and then reached out a tentacle to answer a ringing phone.
A metal hand restrained it.
“Excuse me,” said the owner of the metal hand in a voice that would have made an insect of a more sentimental disposition collapse in tears.
This was not such an insect, and it couldn’t stand robots.
“Yes, sir,” it snapped, “can I help you?”
“I doubt it,” said Marvin.
“Well in that case, if you’ll just excuse me…” Six of the phones were now ringing. A million things awaited the insect’s attention.
“No one can help me,” intoned Marvin.
“Yes, sir, well…”
“Not that anyone tried of course.” The restraining metal hand fell limply by Marvin’s side. His head hung forward very slightly.
“Is that so,” said the insect tartly.
“Hardly worth anyone’s while to help a menial robot is it?”

“我能够问问您，您为什么想见扎尼乌普先生吗？”
“当然，”赞福德说，但其实这个问题连他自己也不太清楚。“我告诉自己，我必须这么做。”
“请再说一遍，先生？”
赞福德往前靠了靠，显得神秘兮兮的。
“这个念头是在你们这儿的一家咖啡馆里成形的，”他说，“是我和我曾祖父的鬼魂之间一次讨论的结果。我一到这里，我原来的那个自我，那个给我的脑子动手术的家伙，就钻进我的脑袋里说，‘去见扎尼乌普’。我甚至从来没听说过这只傻猫。这就是我所知道的一切，就这些。还有，我必须找出统治宇宙的那个人。”
他眨了眨眼。
“毕博布鲁克斯先生，先生，”这只昆虫以敬畏的声音说，“您简直太古怪了，应该出现在电影里。”
“是啊。”赞福德拍打着它的一只正在扑腾的粉红色翅膀，“至于你，小家伙，应该出现在现实生活中。”
虫子顿了一下，以便从激动的情绪中恢复过来。然后它伸出一只触角，准备接听一部刚好响起来的电话。
一只金属手制止了它。
“对不起，”这只金属手的主人说，声音之忧郁，简直会让一只性格更加敏感的昆虫崩溃，流下眼泪来。
但它并不是这样一只昆虫，并且，它忍受不了机器人。
“什么，先生，”它说，“我能为你效劳吗？”
“我表示怀疑。”马文说。
“哦，既然这样，请原谅……”现在有六部电话在响，有一百万件事情正在等着这只虫子去处理。
“没有人能帮助我。”马文拖着哭腔呻吟道。
“是的，先生，那么……”
“当然了，没有谁靠得住。”制止昆虫的那只金属手无力地垂到马文体侧，他的头微微向前倾着。
“是吗？”虫子尖刻地说。
“根本值不得花费任何人的时间来帮助一个机器仆人，是吗？”