经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第16章1

At the bar, Zaphod was rapidly becoming as tired as a newt. His heads knocked together and his smiles were coming out of synch. He was miserably happy.
“Zaphod,” said Ford, “whilst you’re still capable of speech, would you care to tell me what the photon happened? Where have you been? Where have we been? Small matter, but I’d like it cleared up.”
Zaphod’s left head sobered up, leaving his right to sink further into the obscurity of drink.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ve been around. They want me to find the man who rules the Universe, but I don’t care to meet him. I believe the man can’t cook.”
His left head watched his right head saying this and then nodded.
“True,” it said, “have another drink.”
Ford had another Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the drink which has been described as the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head. Whatever had happened, Ford decided, he didn’t really care too much.
“Listen Ford,” said Zaphod, “everything’s cool and froody.”
“You mean everything’s under control.”
“No,” said Zaphod, “I do not mean everything’s under control. That would not be cool and froody. If you want to know what happened let’s just say I had the whole situation in my pocket. OK?”
Ford shrugged.
Zaphod giggled into his drink. It frothed up over the side of the glass and started to eat its way into the marble bar top.
A wild-skinned sky-gypsy approached them and played electric violin at them until Zaphod gave him a lot of money and he agreed to go away again.
The gypsy approached Arthur and Trillian sitting in another part of the bar.
“I don’t know what this place is,” said Arthur, “but I think it gives me the creeps.”
“Have another drink,” said Trillian, “Enjoy yourself.”
“Which?” said Arthur, “the two are mutually exclusive.”
“Poor Arthur, you’re not really cut out for this life are you?”
“You call this life?”
“You’re beginning to sound like Marvin.”
“Marvin’s the clearest thinker I know. How do you think we make this violinist go away?”
The waiter approached.
“Your table is ready,” he said.

酒吧里。赞福德很快就变得像蝾螈一样疲倦。他的两个脑袋碰到一起，两张睑上的笑容也变得不一致起来。他实在是高兴坏了.
“赞福德，”福特说，“趁你现在还能说清楚话，你能告诉我到底发生了什么吗？你曾经去过哪儿？我们又曾经去过哪儿？虽然这只是件小事，我想搞清楚。”
赞福德左边的那个脑袋清醒过来，留下右边那个进一步沉人醉酒的朦胧中。
“是的，”他说，“我出去遛了一大罔。他们希望我去寻找那个统治宇宙的人，但是我根本不想和他碰面。那个家伙肯定不会做饭。”
这番话是他右边的脑袋说出来的，左边的脑袋看着右边的脑袋，然后点了点头。
“没错。”它说，“再来一杯吧。”
福特又喝下一杯泛银河系含漱爆破药，这种饮料被形容为行凶抢劫行为的酒精等价物——昂贵，而且对脑袋有害：管他的，福特决定，他其实并不是真的很在意。
“听着，福特，”赞福德说，“一切顺利，太平无事。”
“你是说一切都在控制之中。”
“不，”赞福德说，“我的意思不是说一切都在控制之中，那样就不酷了，如果你想奇www書17794網com知道到底发生了什么，咱们这么说吧，整件事都揣在我的衣兜里。这样说行吗？”
福特耸丁耸肩
赞福德格格笑着回到他的酒杯前。泡沫超过了玻璃杯的边缘，开始流到吧台的大理石桌面上。
一个长相粗野的太空吉普赛人走到他们身旁，冲他们拉起了电于小提琴，直到赞福德给了他一大笔钱，他才满意地离开了。
这个吉普赛人叉走到坐在吧台另一段的阿瑟和崔莉恩面前。
“我不知道这是什么地方，”阿瑟说，“但我觉得这儿让人毛骨悚然。”
“再来一杯吧，”崔莉恩说，“好好享受一下：”
“这两件事是相互排斥的，”阿瑟说，“你到底想让我做哪一件‘”
“可怜的阿瑟，你并不是真的打算这么悲观地生活下去，对吗？”
“你管这叫生活？”
“听上去，你开始像马文了”
“马文是我所知道的最清醒的思想者。你觉得我们把这个小提琴手打发走如何？”
这时，侍者走了过来。
“你们的餐桌已经准备好了，”他说。