经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第12章5

But at that moment the door opened. Zaphod span round to see the man who had pursued him standing there. He carried a large briefcase. He was smartly dressed, and his hair was short. He had no beard and no long fingernails.
“Zaphod Beeblebrox,” he said, “My name is Zarniwoop. I believe you wanted to see me.”
Zaphod Beeblebrox wittered. His mouths said foolish things. He dropped into a chair.
“Oh man, oh man, where did you spring from?” he said.
“I’ve been waiting here for you,” he said in a businesslike tone.
He put the briefcase down and sat in another chair.
“I am glad you followed instructions,” he said, “I was a bit nervous that you might have left my office by the door rather than the window. Then you would have been in trouble.”
Zaphod shook his heads at him and burbled.
“When you entered the door of my office, you entered my electronically synthesized Universe,” he explained, “if you had left by the door you would have been back in the real one. The artificial one works from here.”
He patted the briefcase smugly.
Zaphod glared at him with resentment and loathing.
“What’s the difference?” he muttered.
“Nothing,” said Zarniwoop, “they are identical. Oh – except that I think the Frogstar Fighters are grey in the real Universe.”
“What’s going on?” spat Zaphod.
“Simple,” said Zarniwoop. His self assurance and smugness made Zaphod seethe.
“Very simple,” repeated Zarniwoop, “I discovered the coordinated at which this man could be found – the man who rules the Universe, and discovered that his world was protected by an Unprobability field. To protect my secret – and myself – I retreated to the safety of this totally artificial Universe and hid myself away in a forgotten cruise liner. I was secure. Meanwhile, you and I…”
“You and I?” said Zaphod angrily, “you mean I knew you?”
“Yes,” said Zarniwoop, “we knew each other well.”
“I had no taste,” said Zaphod and resumed a sullen silence.
“Meanwhile, you and I arranged that you would steal the Improbability Drive ship – the only one which could reach the ruler’s world – and bring it to me here. This you have now done I trust, and I congratulate you.” He smiled a tight little smile which Zaphod wanted to hit with a brick.
“Oh, and in case you were wondering,” added Zarniwoop, “this Universe was created specifically for you to come to. You are therefore the most important person in this Universe. You would never,” he said with an even more brickable smile, “have survived the Total Perspective Vortex in the real one. Shall we go?”
“Where?” said Zaphod sullenly. He felt collapsed.
“To your ship. The Heart of Gold. You did bring it I trust?”
“No.”

就在此时，那扇门打开了。赞福德转过身，看见刚才追赶他的那个人站在那儿，手里拎着一个大公文包。他穿得很光鲜，头发很短。他没有留胡子，指甲也不长。
“赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯，”他说，“我的名字叫扎尼乌普。我相信你想见我。”
赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯顿时感到手足无措。他的两张嘴傻瓜似的说着些什么。他一屁股跌坐在一把椅子上。
“噢，老天！噢！老天，你是从哪儿冒出来的？”他说。
“我一直在这里等你。”扎尼乌普用一种事务性的口吻说道。
他放下公文包，在另一把椅子上坐下来。
“我很高兴你遵照了指示。”他说，”说老实话，我有点儿担心你会从门离开我的办公室，而不是从窗户。那样的话，你将碰上大麻烦。”
赞福德摇着他的两个脑袋，发出嘟囔声。
“当体踏进我办公室的房门时，你也就进入了我的电子合成宇宙。”扎尼乌普解释说，“如果你从门离开的话，你就将回到真实的宇宙中。这个人造的宇宙是从这儿开始工作的。”
说着，他得意地拍了拍他的公文包。
赞福德愤恨而厌恶地瞪着他。
“这又有什么区别呢？”他喃喃地说。
“没有，”扎尼乌普说，“它们完全相同。哦……除了一点，我想真实宇宙中的蛙星战斗舰是灰色的。”
“这到底是怎么回事‘”赞福德冒出一句。
“简单。”扎尼乌普说。他的自信和洋洋得意使赞福德感到非常恼火。
“很简单。”他又重复了一遍，“我发现了那个人的坐标——那个统治着宇宙的人，还发现他的世界被一个无概率场保护着。为了保护我的秘密——还有我自己——我退回到这个完全人造的安全的宇宙中，躲在一艘已经被遗忘了的巡航班机上。我很安全。与此同时，你和我”
“你和我？”赞福德生气地说，“你的意思是我认识你喽？”
“是的，”扎尼乌普说，“我们相互之间非常了解。”
“我可没这兴趣，”说完，赞福德又恢复了闷闷不乐的沉默。

“与此同时，你和我一起策划了这件事。你将去偷那艘非概率的世界的工具，然后把它带到我这儿来。这件事，我相信你现在已经办成了，祝贺你。”他一脸严肃地微微笑了笑。赞福德不由得想捡块砖头砸他。
“哦，万一你感到纳闷，”扎尼乌普补充道，“我可以告诉你，这个宇宙是为了你的到来而专门创造的。因此，你是这个宇宙中最重要的人。如果是在真实宇宙的话，你永远也不可能……”说着，他更讨砖头砸地笑了笑，“在绝对透视旋涡中幸存下来。我们能走了吗？”
“去哪儿？”赞福德阴沉地问。他感到自己快要崩溃了。
“去你的飞船……‘黄金之心号’……你把它带来了吧，我相信。”
“没有。”