经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第5章2

It is one of the most remarkable, certainly the most successful, books ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor – more popular than Life Begins at Five Hundred and Fifty, better selling than The Big Bang Theory – A Personal View by Eccentrica Gallumbits (the triple breasted whore of Eroticon Six) and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid’s latest blockbusting title Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Sex But Have Been Forced To Find Out.
(And in many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, it has long surplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older and more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it is slightly cheaper, and secondly it has the words Don’t Panic printed in large friendly letters on its cover.)
It is of course that invaluable companion for all those who want to see the marvels of the known Universe for less than thirty Altairan Dollars a day – The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
If you stood with your back to the main entrance lobby of the Guide offices (assuming you had landed by now and freshened up with a quick dip and shower) and then walked east, you would pass along the leafy shade of Life Boulevard, be amazed by the pale golden colour of the beaches stretching away to your left, astounded by the mind-surfers floating carelessly along two feet above the waves as if it was nothing special, surprised and eventually slightly irritated by the giant palm trees that hum toneless nothings throughout the daylight hours, in other words continuously.
If you then walked to the end of Life Boulevard you would enter the Lalamatine district of shops, bolonut trees and pavement cafes where the UM-Betans come to relax after a hard afternoon’s relaxation on the beach. The Lalamatine district is one of those very few areas which doesn’t enjoy a perpetual Saturday afternoon – it enjoys instead the cool of a perpetual early Saturday evening. Behind it lie the night clubs.
If, on this particular day, afternoon, stretch of eveningtime – call it what you will – you had approached the second pavement cafe on the right you would have seen the usual crowd of UM-Betans chatting, drinking, looking very relaxed, and casually glancing at each other’s watches to see how expensive they were.
You would also have seen a couple of rather dishevelled looking hitch-hikers from Algol who had recently arrived on an Arcturan Megafreighter aboard which they had been roughing it for a few days. They were angry and bewildered to discover that here, within sight of the Hitch Hiker’s Guide building itself, a simple glass of fruit juice cost the equivalent of over sixty Altairan dollars.
“Sell out,” one of them said, bitterly.
If at that moment you had then looked at the next table but one you would have seen Zaphod Beeblebrox sitting and looking very startled and confused.
The reason for his confusion was that five seconds earlier he had been sitting on the bridge of the starship Heart of Gold.
“Absolute sell out,” said the voice again.

它是小熊星座那些伟大的出版公司所推出的最非凡、当然也就是最成功的书之一——比《生命起源于550年》更流行，比古怪盖洛比特（情欲六号星上的一位有着三个乳房的妓女）的《大爆炸理论——一种个人观点》更畅销，比沃农·科拉菲德最近一鸣惊人的《你永远不想知道但又被迫必须查明的关于性的真相》引发了更多的争议。
（在银河系东部外缘的许多更加开放的文明里，这本书早已经取代伟大的《银河系百科全书》，成为所有知识和智慧的标准。这是因为，尽管显得冗长，并且包含许多虚假或者至少是不够准确的信息，但它却在两个极其重要的方面超越了那部更加陈旧和呆板的著作。第一，它稍微便宜一点儿；第二，在它的封面上以大而友善的字体写着“不要恐慌”这句话。）
毫无疑问，对所有那些希望以一天不到三十牵牛星元的价钱，看到整个已知宇宙中的种种奇迹的人来说，它是无价的伴侣。当然，这本书就是《银河系漫游指南》。
如果你背对《指南》出版大厦主要的入口大厅站着（假设现在你已经降落，并且在简单的梳洗淋浴之后恢复了精神），然后向东走，沿着生命大道那枝繁叶茂的树荫前进，你将会惊讶于在你左手边不断延伸的淡金色沙滩，惊讶于冲浪者们若无其事地飘浮在浪头之上二英尺。而同样会让你感到惊讶、并且最终产生一丝愤怒的是：整个白天，巨大的棕榈树都毫无意义且不成曲调地嗡嗡响着，换句话说，就是永不停息地哼哼着。
如果你走完了生命大道，你将会进入拉拉马汀商业区，这里满是刀果树和人行道上的咖啡馆，小熊星座－贝塔人在完成了海滩上艰苦的下午放松后，就会来到这里放松身心。拉拉马汀区是极少数不享受永久性星期六下午的地区之一——它享受的是永久性星期六傍晚前半段的那份凉爽。在它背后是一排排夜总会。
如果，正好在这一天，在从下午过渡到傍晚的时刻——随便你怎么称呼这段时间——你来到右手边的第二家人行道上的咖啡馆，你将会看到小熊星座－贝塔人像通常那样，成群结队地聊天、饮酒，看上去非常放松，只是在不经意间偶尔瞟一眼彼此手上戴的表，瞧瞧对方的表有多名贵。
你还会见到两个头发蓬乱、衣冠不整的漫游者，他们来自恶魔星，是搭最近抵达的一艘大角星巨型货船的便车来这里的，他们在那上面凑合着过了好几天。在这里，他们感到愤怒，感到不解，因为就在这里，在能看到伟大的《漫游指南》大厦的地方，一杯普普通通的果汁居然要卖相当于超过六十牵牛星元的价钱。
“这是一种背叛。”他们中的一个人愤懑地说。
如果此时你望向旁边的那张桌子，你会看见赞福德·毕博布鲁克斯坐在那儿，无比惊讶和迷惑地四处打量。
他的迷惑是因为，仅仅在五秒钟之前，他还坐在黄金之心号星际飞船的舰桥上。
“这绝对是一种背叛。”那个声音又说道。