经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第2章1

Chapter 2
Like all Vogon ships it looked as if it had been not so much designed as congealed. The unpleasant yellow lumps and edifices which protruded from it at unsightly angles would have disfigured the looks of most ships, but in this case that was sadly impossible. Uglier things have been spotted in the skies, but not by reliable witnesses.
In fact to see anything much uglier than a Vogon ship you would have to go inside and look at a Vogon. If you are wise, however, this is precisely what you will avoid doing because the average Vogon will not think twice before doing something so pointlessly hideous to you that you will wish you had never been born – or (if you are a clearer minded thinker) that the Vogon had never been born.
In fact, the average Vogon probably wouldn’t even think once. They are simple-minded, thick-willed, slug-brained creatures, and thinking is not really something they are cut out for. Anatomical analysis of the Vogon reveals that its brain was originally a badly deformed, misplaced and dyspeptic liver. The fairest thing you can say about them, then, is that they know what they like, and what they like generally involves hurting people and, wherever possible, getting very angry.
One thing they don’t like is leaving a job unfinished – particularly this Vogon, and particularly – for various reasons – this job.

第二章
和所有沃贡飞船一样，这艘飞船似乎没怎么设计就硬生生拼凑到一起。让人不舒服的黄色肿块和鼓包以难看的角度从船身向外凸出。放在大多数飞船上，这么做肯定会破坏其外观。但令人沮丧的是，这一次却不是这样。因为飞船本身已经丑到了极点。比它更丑陋的东西或许曾经存在于太空中，只不过谁都没见过。
实际上，想看到比沃贡飞船更难看的东西，你必须进入飞船内部，瞧瞧沃贡人本身。然而，如果你够明智的话，这恰恰是你绝对应该尽力避免的事情。因为，随便哪个普通沃贡人，念头稍转，就会对你做出毫无意义但却骇人听闻的事来，使你简直恨不得自己从来没有出生过——或者希望（如果你是个头脑比较清醒的思考者的话）那个沃贡人从来没有出生过。
实际上，普通沃贡人可能根本不会“转念头”。他们属于那种思想简单、头脑迟钝但意志坚定的生物，思考不是他们的专长。对沃贡人的解剖学分析表明，他们的大脑其实原本是个严重畸形、长错了位置并且有官能疾患的肝脏。硬要说说他们的好话，只能这么说：他们知道自己喜欢什么。可他们喜欢的东西一般说来总是和伤害别人有关，此外就是暴跳如雷，任何可能的时候，沃贡人都会暴跳如雷。
他们所憎恶的事情之一就是留下一件工作没有完成——尤其是这一个沃贡人，并且，尤其——因为各种各样的原因——是这件工作。