经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第17章10

“Put your analyst on danger money, baby,” advised Zaphod.
“No, wait a minute,” said Ford, emerging above table level again, “where exactly is here?”
“To be absolutely exact sir, it is Frogstar World B.”
“But we just left there,” protested Zaphod, “we left there and came to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.”
“Yes, sir,” said the waiter, feeling that he was now into the home stretch and running well, “the one was constructed on the ruins of the other.”
“Oh,” said Arthur brightly, “you mean we’ve travelled in time but not in space.”
“Listen you semi-evolved simian,” cut in Zaphod, “go climb a tree will you?”
Arthur bristled.
“Go bang your heads together four-eyes,” he advised Zaphod.
“No, no,” the waiter said to Zaphod, “your monkey has got it right, sir.”
Arthur stuttered in fury and said nothing apposite, or indeed coherent.
“You jumped forward… I believe five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years whilst staying in exactly the same place,” explained the waiter. He smiled. He had a wonderful feeling that he had finally won through against what had seemed to be insuperable odds.
“That’s it!” said Zaphod, “I got it. I told the computer to send us to the nearest place to eat, that’s exactly what it did. Give or take five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years, we never moved. Neat.”
They all agreed this was very neat.
“But who,” said Zaphod, “is the cat on the phone?”
“Whatever happened to Marvin?” said Trillian.
Zaphod clapped his hands to his heads.
“The Paranoid Android! I left him moping about on Frogstar B.”
“When was this?”
“Well, er, five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years ago I suppose,” said Zaphod, “Hey, er, hand me the rap-rod, Plate Captain.”
The little waiter’s eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
“I beg your pardon, sir?” he said.
“The phone, waiter,” said Zaphod, grabbing it off him. “Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.”
“Indeed, sir.”

“对你这样的分析家应该付给额外的报酬才对，伙计，”赞福德建议道。
“不，等一等，”福特从桌子下跳了下来，“确切地说，这里究竟是哪儿？”
“绝对确切地说，先生，这里是蛙星。”
“可是我们刚刚离开那儿，”赞福德抗议道，“我们离开那里，来到了宇宙尽头的餐馆。”
“是的，先生，”侍者说，感到事情总算进人了自己熟悉的领域，“餐馆建在蛙星的废墟上。”
“哦，”阿瑟恍然大悟，“你的意思是，我们是在时间里旅行，而不是在空间里？”
“听着，你这只半进化的猿猴，”赞福德打断了他，“找棵树爬上去不好吗？”
阿瑟气得毛发倒竖。
“把你自己的两个脑袋四只限睛撞到一起吧。”他向赞福德建议。
“别，别，”侍者对赞幅德说，“您的猴子的理解是正确的，先生”
大怒之下，阿瑟张口结舌，没说出任何恰当的、甚至好歹是连贯的话来。
“你们朝前跳跃了……我相信是五十七万六千个百万年，而同时待在原地并没有移动。”侍者解释说。他笑了。他现在感觉很不错，因为到头来，他在最渺茫、几乎不町能的取胜几率下获得了胜利。
“原来如此！”赞福德说，“我明白了。我告诉电脑送我们到最近的地方吃饭，而这就是它干的事。哪怕经过了五十七万六千个百万年或者随便多久，我们始终没有移动。妙掇了。”
大家一致同意，这确实非常巧妙。
“可电话上又是谁呢？”赞福德说
“不知马文怎么样了？”崔莉恩说。
赞福德用手一扪脑袋。
“那个偏执狂机器人！我把他留在蛙星系B世界上了。”
“这是什么时候的事，”
“嗯，五十七万六千个百万年以前吧，我想。”赞福德说，“嘿，嗯，把你手里那根棒子递给我，负责盘子的船长。”
小个子侍者感到迷惑不解，眉毛在前额上拧成了一团。
“对不起，您能再说一遍吗，先生？”他说。
“电话，侍者，”赞犒德说着，一把夺过电话，“嗨，你们这些家伙简直一点儿也赶不上时髦，真搞不懂你们都在想些什么。”
“确实如此，先生。”