英语搞笑笑话6则
英语搞笑笑话：Rope or Ox?
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home.
But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!
I told you I had bad luck, didn't I? the man sighed, The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope.
绳子还是公牛?
在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。
但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!
我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?那个人叹了口气，麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。
英语搞笑笑话：
Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but never boiled over-just simmered. On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.
Upon his return he exclaimed, Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
弗兰克叔叔七十八岁了，富有而健康。他是个终生单身汉。他曾追求过很多女孩，但从不过热----见好就收。一天他突发奇想，决定四处走走，去看看他那些接近一打的旧时女友。
他回来即叹道：嘘!谢天谢地幸亏我没娶那些女人中的任何一个。如今她们都成寡妇了!
英语搞笑笑话：
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. Can I help you? The man said, Sure. I've come to install the phone.
一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天，他坐在办公室里，看到有一个人在外面，于是他就装作生意很忙的样子，拿起电话胡吹乱侃，还不停的甩出几个大数字，好像在谈一笔大买卖。
到了最后，他终于挂了电话，问来访的人，有事儿嘛?那个人回答，我是来给你安装电话的。
英语搞笑笑话：
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题. 司机大叫起来, 车也失去了控制, 几乎撞上一辆公车, 还上了便道, 在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来.
The driver said, Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me! The passenger apologized and said, I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. The driver replied, Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.
司机说,伙计,别再这么干了. 你把我吓破胆了!乘客抱歉地说, 我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样. 司机说,对不起,也不全是你的错. 今天是我第一天开出租. 以前25年里我一直开殡葬车.
英语搞笑笑话：万能的圣诞老人并非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一个女孩爬到圣诞老人的膝盖上，圣诞老人例行公事的问：“今年圣诞节你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛惊讶的望着圣诞老人一分钟都没讲话，然后喘着气说到：“你没收到我的电子邮件吗?(我想要什么都写上面了，万能的圣诞老人咋能不知道捏)”
英语搞笑笑话：Psychiatrist 精神病医生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”
