英语爆笑笑话7篇
英语爆笑笑话：Does Anyone Want a Nice Clean Plate?
Peter was ten years old. One day his friend Paul said to him, "I'm going to have a birthday party on Saturday, Peter. Can you you come?"
Peter asked his mother, and she said, "Yes, you can go." She phoned Paul's mother to tell her.
Before Peter went to the party on Saturday afternoon, his mother said to him, "Now, Peter, don't forget to be polite. Don't ask for food. Wait until someone gives it to you."
"All right, Mom," Peter answered, and he went to Paul's house on his bicycle.
There were a lot of children at the party. They played together for an hour, and then Paul's mother gave them some food; but she forgot to give Peter any. He waited politely for a few minutes, and then he held his plate up in the air and said loudly, "Does anyone want a nice clean plate?"
有人要干净的盘子吗?
彼德十岁了。一天他的朋友保罗对他说：“彼德，星期六我要举办生日宴会，你能来吗?”
彼德问母亲，母亲说：“没问题，你去吧。”她还打电话通知了保罗的母亲。
星期六下午，彼德去赴宴。临行前，母亲对他说：“彼德，别忘了礼貌。别主动要吃的，等别人拿给你。”
“好的，妈妈。”彼德回答。然后他骑着自行车去了保罗的家。
宴会上孩子很多，他们在一起玩了一个钟头。这里保罗的母亲给他们分发食品。但她忘了给彼德。彼德等了几分钟，然后把盘子举在空中，大声说：“有人要干净的盘子吗?”
英语爆笑笑话：She'd rather buy a gift
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."
她宁愿买一件礼物
旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。"没关系，"他说，"我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺。"妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，"我宁愿给你买一件礼物。"
英语爆笑笑话：The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?"
"I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上，人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火，又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?”
“我不知道，”袋鼠说，“如果他们继续开着大门，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
英语爆笑笑话：Excellent Skills
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
绝妙的技巧
我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。
一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。”
英语爆笑笑话：我没有看到另外一块
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.
妈妈：约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。现在就剩下一块了。你能解释一下吗?约翰尼：嗯，我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。
英语爆笑笑话：魔鬼的妹夫
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
英语爆笑笑话：最丑的孩子?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
