经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第18章6大纲

I was at, roared Agrajag, a cricket match! I had a weak heart condition, but what, I said to my wife, can happen to me at a cricket match? As I’m watching, what happens?
Two people quite maliciously appear out of thin air just in front of me. The last thing I can’t help but notice before my poor heart gives out in shock is that one of them is Arthur Dent wearing a rabbit bone in his beard. Coincidence?
Yes, said Arthur.
Coincidence? screamed the creature, painfully thrashing its broken wings, and opening a short gash on its right cheek with a particularly nasty tooth. On closer examination, such as he’d been hoping to avoid, Arthur noticed that much of Agrajag’s face was covered with ragged strips of black sticky plasters.
He backed away nervously. He tugged at his beard. He was appalled to discover that in fact he still had the rabbit bone in it. He pulled it out and threw it away.
Look, he said, it’s just fate playing silly buggers with you. With me. With us. It’s a complete coincidence.
What have you got against me, Dent? snarled the creature, advancing on him in a painful waddle.
Nothing, insisted Arthur, honestly, nothing.
Agrajag fixed him with a beady stare.
Seems a strange way to relate to somebody you’ve got nothing against, killing them all the time. Very curious piece of social interaction, I would call that. I’d also call it a lie!
But look, said Arthur, I’m very sorry. There’s been a terrible misunderstanding. I’ve got to go. Have you got a clock? I’m meant to be helping save the Universe. He backed away still further.
Agrajag advanced still further.
At one point, he hissed, at one point, I decided to give up. Yes, I would not come back. I would stay in the netherworld. And what happened?
Arthur indicated with random shakes of his head that he had no idea and didn’t want to have one either. He found he had backed up against the cold dark stone that had been carved by who knew what Herculean effort into a monstrous travesty of his bedroom slippers. He glanced up at his own horrendously parodied image towering above him. He was still puzzled as to what one of his hands was meant to be doing.
I got yanked involuntarily back into the physical world, pursued Agrajag, as a bunch of petunias. In, I might add, a bowl. This particularly happy little lifetime started off with me, in my bowl, unsupported, three hundred miles above the surface of a particularly grim planet. Not a naturally tenable position for a bowl of petunias, you might think. And you’d be right. That life ended a very short while later, three hundred miles lower. In, I might add, the fresh wreckage of a whale. My spirit brother.
He leered at Arthur with renewed hatred.
On the way down, he snarled, I couldn’t help noticing a flashy-looking white spaceship. And looking out of a port on this flashy-looking spaceship was a smug-looking Arthur Dent. Coincidence?!!
Yes! yelped Arthur. He glanced up again, and realized that the arm that had puzzled him was represented as wantonly calling into existence a bowl of doomed petunias. This was not a concept which leapt easily to the eye.
I must go, insisted Arthur.

“我去看，”阿格拉贾格怒吼着，“一场板球比赛！我心脏不太好，可是，在板球比赛上——我对我妻子说——能发生什么呢？我正在看的时候！发生什么了呢？
“两个人，如此恶毒地在我面前凭空出现。在我因过度惊吓而心脏衰竭之前，看见的最后一幕，就是阿瑟·邓特，胡子上还戴着一块兔骨头！巧合？！”
“是的。”阿瑟说。
“巧合？！”那个生物凄厉地叫道，痛苦地抖着他的破翅膀，脸上被那些恶心的牙齿划出了一道小口子。靠近点看——阿瑟其实并不想——才注意到，阿格拉贾格的脸上，贴满了歪歪扭扭的黑色胶布。
阿瑟紧张地后退几步。他连忙抹了抹胡子，惊慌地发现自己还挂着兔骨头。他迅速扯下来扔了它。
“你瞧……”他说，“不过是命运玩的残酷游戏，跟你，跟我，跟咱们。这真的完全是巧合。”
“你跟我有什么仇？邓特？”那个生物嗥叫着，满脸的苦大仇深，步步逼进阿瑟。
“没有。”阿瑟极力申辩，“真的，没有。”
阿格拉贾格瞪着他，目光如炬。
“把一个无怨无仇的人、反复杀害，真是一种怪异的人际关系、一种稀奇的社交方式啊！我可以这么说吧！我还可以说，它是个谎言！
“可是，你瞧，”阿瑟说，“我很抱歉。这是个严重的误会。我得走了，你有钟吗？我要去帮忙拯救宇宙的。”他又后退了几步。
阿格拉贾格又逼近几步。
“曾几何时，”他嘶哑地说，“曾几何时，我决定放弃。是的，我决定不活了，我想呆在阴间，可是然后呢？”
阿瑟只是不住地摇头，表示他真的不知道，也不想知道。他发现自己已经退到了一块冰冷的黑色石头边上。不知何方神圣，将这块石头雕成如此具有讽刺意味的拖鞋。他向上一瞥，便看见上方雕出的一条面目可憎的毛巾。有一只手，他到现在也没看出是在做什么。
“无意之中，我又被拉回了现实世界，”阿格拉贾格接着说，“成了一丛牵牛花，住在一个花盆里。这一次短暂而快乐的生命，就在花盆里，开始了。无依无靠，处在一颗冰冷的行星上方三百里的高空。的确，对于一盆牵牛花来说，这是很不正常的位置。那次生命很快便结束了，结束于三百里之下。结束于——我必须要说——一条血肉模糊的鲸鱼身上。它是我的好兄弟。”
他瞟了一眼阿瑟，带着更为深切的恨意，说道：
“掉下去的时候，”他嘶吼道，“我不禁回头一望，望见一艘俗气的白色飞船，从它的一扇舷窗里，那个沾沾自喜的阿瑟·邓特正往外看。巧合？！”
“是的！”阿瑟喊道。他又向上看了一眼，才知道那只不知在干啥的手，其实在以一种作威作福的姿态、召唤着一盆倒霉的牵牛花。的确很难一眼看出来。
“我必须走了。”阿瑟又说。