经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第4章(8)

Yes, that’s true, admitted Arthur.
All, however, that seemed to be afoot was a cereMony of some kind. It was being specially staged for the benefit of TV rather than the spectators, and all they could gather about it from where they were standing was what they heard from a nearby radio. Ford was aggressively uninterested.
He fretted as he heard it explained that the Ashes were about to be presented to the Captain of the English team out there on the pitch, fumed when told that this was because they had now won them for the n’th time, positively barked with annoyance at the information that the Ashes were the remains of a cricket stump, and when, further to this, he was asked to contend with the fact that the cricket stump in question had been burnt in Melbourne, Australia, in 1882, to signify the “death of English cricket”, he rounded on Slartibartfast, took a deep breath, but didn’t have a chance to say anything because the old man wasn’t there. He was marching out on to the pitch with terrible purpose in his gait, his hair, beard and robes swept behind him, looking very much as Moses would have looked if Sinai had been a well-cut lawn instead of, as it is more usually represented, a fiery smoking mountain.
He said to meet him at his ship, said Arthur.
What in the name of zarking fardwarks is the old fool doing? exploded Ford.
Meeting us at his ship in two minutes, said Arthur with a shrug which indicated total abdication of thought. They started off towards it. Strange sounds reached their ears. They tried not to listen, but could not help noticing that Slartibartfast was querulously demanding that he be given the silver urn containing the Ashes, as they were, he said, vitally important for the past, present and future safety of the Galaxy, and that this was causing wild hilarity. They resolved to ignore it.
What happened next they could not ignore. With a noise like a hundred thousand people saying “wop”, a steely white spaceship suddenly seemed to create itself out of nothing in the air directly above the cricket pitch and hung there with infinite menace and a slight hum.
Then for a while it did nothing, as if it expected everybody to go about their normal business and not mind it just hanging there.
Then it did something quite extraordinary. Or rather, it opened up and let something quite extraordinary come out of it, eleven quite extraordinary things.
They were robots, white robots.
What was most extraordinary about them was that they appeared to have come dressed for the occasion. Not only were they white, but they carried what appeared to be cricket bats, and not only that, but they also carried what appeared to be cricket balls, and not only that but they wore white ribbing pads round the lower parts of their legs. These last were extraordinary because they appeared to contain jets which allowed these curiously civilized robots to fly down from their hovering spaceship and start to kill people, which is what they did
Hello, said Arthur, something seems to be happening.
Get to the ship, shouted Ford. I don’t want to know, I don’t want to see, I don’t want to hear, he yelled as he ran, this is not my planet, I didn’t choose to be here, I don’t want to get involved, just get me out of here, and get me to a party, with people I can relate to!
Smoke and flame billowed from the pitch.

“是的，的确是。”阿瑟表示同意。
然而，就要来临的，似乎是一个大型庆典。这个庆典其实是用来录电视节目的，并非专为现场观众所设。观众们不断聚集过来的地点，是旁边一个扩音器指示的。福特对此简直没有丝毫兴趣。
他正愁的时候，听见广播里说，灰烬杯将由英格兰队的队长举到球道来展示，原因是他们第N次赢得了这个东西。福特觉得很气愤。而后广播里又说，这个灰烬杯，其实是一个板球门柱燃烧的残余物，福特忍不住狠狠地吼了一声。更加过分的是，他还得忍受那个门柱的故事：它于1882年，在澳大利亚墨尔本被焚烧，以象征“英国板球运动之死”。于是他起身想要去找司拉提巴特法斯特。他做了个深呼吸，但却没有机会说点什么，因为老人不在那儿了。老人正以坚定的步伐迈向球道，他的头发、胡须和长袍在他身后飘扬，看上去非常像摩西——如果西奈山是一片修建好的草坪而不是，一般所认为的，一座火光熊熊的山的话。③
“他说在飞船里见。”阿瑟说。
“看在赞的发蜗的份上，这老傻瓜在干什么？”福特要爆发了。
“在准备两分钟后跟咱们飞船里见。”阿瑟耸耸肩膀，表示放弃思考这个问题。他俩便朝飞船走去。这时一阵奇怪的声音传来。他们试图不去听它，却无法避免看见这样一幕：司拉提巴特法斯特不耐烦地要求那些人，把装着灰烬的银质奖杯交给他，原因是——据他宣称，这个灰烬杯对于银河系的过去、现在及未来的安全极端重要——于是引起一片狂笑。福特和阿瑟决定不予理会。
接下来所发生的，则令他们无法不理会。随着一声仿佛成百上千人同时说“喔”的巨响，一艘钢铁所制、白色的太空飞船，突然之间，在球道的正上方凭空冒了出来，低低地轰鸣着，似乎有极大的危险性。
过了好一会儿，它什么也没干，仿佛希望每个人都继续做他们的正事，不用管它挂在那儿似的。
然后，它就干了点相当不寻常的事。确切地说，它打开门，一些相当不寻常的东西走了出来。共有十一个。
它们是机器人，白色机器人。
最最不寻常的是，它们好象专门为此打扮过。它们不仅都是白的，而且都带着板球拍一样的物品；这还不止，它们还带着好象板球一样的东西；这仍然不止，它们的腿的下部，还戴着白色的肋骨状的护腿板。这些新来的家伙是如此的不寻常，更因为他们都带着喷气式飞行器，这可以使它们从悬在半空的飞船里飞下来，以便这些奇怪的智能机器人开始杀人。他们真的这么做了。
“嘿，”阿瑟说，“好象出事了！”
“去飞船那儿！”福特叫道，“我不想知道，我不想看，我不想听！”他一边跑一边呐喊着，“这不是我的星球，我不想来这儿，我不想被卷进去，只要让我离开就行！把我带到一个有我认识的人的派对上吧！”
浓烟和火焰开始在球道上翻腾而起。