经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第4章(7)

Well, your team, as I say, have just won. The match. It means they retain the Ashes. You must be very pleased. I must say, I’m rather fond of cricket, though I wouldn’t like anyone outside this planet to hear me saying that. Oh dear no.
The apparition gave what looked as if it might have been a mischievous grin, but it was hard to tell because the sun was directly behind him, creating a blinding halo round his head and illuminating his silver hair and beard in a way which was awesome, dramatic and hard to reconcile with mischievous grins.
Still, he said, it’ll all be over in a couple of days, won’t it? Though as I said to you when we last met, I was very sorry about that. Still, whatever will have been, will have been.
Arthur tried to speak, but gave up the unequal struggle. He prodded Ford again.
I thought something terrible had happened, said Ford, but it’s just the end of the game. We ought to get out. Oh, hello, Slartibartfast, what are you doing here?
Oh, pottering, pottering, said the old man gravely.
That your ship? Can you give us a lift anywhere?
Patience, patience, the old man admonished.
OK, said Ford. It’s just that this planet’s going to be demolished pretty soon.
I know that, said Slartibartfast.
And, well, I just wanted to make that point, said Ford.
The point is taken.
And if you feel that you really want to hang around a cricket pitch at this point…
I do.
Then it’s your ship.
It is.
I suppose. Ford turned away sharply at this point.
Hello, Slartibartfast, said Arthur at last.
Hello, Earthman, said Slartibartfast.
After all, said Ford, we can only die once.
The old man ignored this and stared keenly on to the pitch, with eyes that seemed alive with expressions that had no apparent bearing on what was happening out there. What was happening was that the crowd was gathering itself into a wide circle round the centre of the pitch. What Slartibartfast saw in it, he alone knew.
Ford was humming something. It was just one note repeated at intervals. He was hoping that somebody would ask him what he was humming, but nobody did. If anybody had asked him he would have said he was humming the first line of a Noel Coward song called “Mad About the Boy” over and over again. It would then have been pointed out to him that he was only singing one note, to which he would have replied that for reasons which he hoped would be apparent, he was omitting the “about the boy” bit. He was annoyed that nobody asked.
It’s just, he burst out at last, that if we don’t go soon, we might get caught in the middle of it all again. And there’s nothing that depresses me more than seeing a planet being destroyed. Except possibly still being on it when it happens. Or, he added in an undertone, hanging around cricket matches.
Patience, said Slartibartfast again. Great things are afoot.
That’s what you said last time we met, said Arthur.
They were, said Slartibartfast.

“啊，你的队，如我所说，刚才赢了。赢了比赛。也就是说他们保住了灰烬杯。你一定很高兴。我得承认，我真的很喜欢板球，虽然我不希望这颗行星以外的人听到这一点。噢，天哪，是的。”
鬼影似乎露出了一个淘气的微笑，不过很难确定。因为阳光从他身后径直照射过来，在他的脑袋周围照出一圈刺眼的光芒，照亮了他的银发和胡须，看上去既华丽又梦幻，这可跟淘气的微笑不太相称。
“然而，”他说，“一切都将在一两天之内结束，不是吗？尽管上次我已经告诉过你，我自己也很遗憾。然而，该发生的事，总会发生的。”
阿瑟试图说点什么，但还是说不出来。他又戳了戳福特。
“我知道会有糟糕的事发生，”福特说，“但比赛已经结束了，咱们该走了。噢，你好，司拉提巴特法斯特，你在这儿干嘛？”
“噢，溜达，溜达一下。”老人严肃地说。
“那是你的飞船？你能不能把我俩搭到别处去？”
“耐心，耐心。”老人告戒道。
“行，”福特说，“只是这颗行星很快就要毁灭了。”
“我知道。”司拉提巴特法斯特说。
“那么，嗯，我只是想强调一下状况而已。”福特说。
“状况我懂。”
“那么如果你真想在这种状况下，呆在板球场的话……”
“我是想的。”
“而这是你的飞船。”
“它是的。”
“我了解。”于是在这个状况下，福特转过身去。
“你好，司拉提巴特法斯特。”阿瑟终于开口了。
“你好，地球人。”司拉提巴特法斯特说，
“毕竟，”福特说，“咱们只能死一次。”
老人并未理会这句话，他目光锐利地盯着球道，那双眼睛似乎已经完全忽略其他事物。此时，人群正向球道围了过来。只有司拉提巴特法斯特知道，这里面到底有什么深层意义。
福特在哼着什么，听上去，像是在不停重复一个音。他希望有人来问他在哼什么，可是没人问。如果有人问他，他会说他哼的是一首圣诞懦夫歌《疯狂地爱上那个男孩》，他在反复地哼第一句。如果对方指出他只是在哼同一个音，他就会说，因为某种显而易见的原因，他省略了“爱上那个男孩”那块。他很不爽没人来问他。
“只是，”他终于又开口道，“如果咱们不快点走，就又要经历那一切了。对我来说，没有什么比让我看见一颗行星毁灭更难受的了。尤其是被毁灭时我正站在上面，或者，”他低声补充道，“在板球赛场上呆着。”
“耐心。”司拉提巴特法斯特又说道，“大事就要来临了。”
“那是上次我们见面时你说的话。”阿瑟说。
“是啊。”司拉提巴特法斯特说。