经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第4章(4)

Look, said Ford. He picked up an imaginary phone and diAlled an imaginary dial.
Hello? he said into the imaginary mouthpiece. Is that Arthur Dent? Ah, hello, yes. This is Arthur Dent speaking. Don’t hang up.
He looked at the imaginary mouthpiece in disappointment.
He hung up, he said, shrugged, and put the imaginary phone neatly back on its imaginary hook.
This is not my first temporal anomaly, he added.
A glummer look replaced the already glum look on Arthur Dent’s face.
So we’re not home and dry, he said.
We could not even be said, replied Ford, to be home and vigorously towelling ourselves off.
The game continued. The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. The batsman swung and thwacked it behind him over the sight-screens. Ford’s eyes followed the trajectory of the ball and jogged momentarily. He stiffened. He looked along the flight path of the ball again and his eyes twitched again.
This isn’t my towel, said Arthur, who was rummaging in his rabbit-skin bag.
Shhh, said Ford. He screwed his eyes up in concentration.
I had a Golgafrinchan jogging towel, continued Arthur, it was blue with yellow stars on it. This isn’t it.
Shhh, said Ford again. He covered one eye and looked with the other.
This one’s pink, said Arthur, it isn’t yours is it?
I would like you to shut up about your towel, said Ford.
It isn’t my towel, insisted Arthur, that is the point I am trying to…
And the time at which I would like you to shut up about it, continued Ford in a low growl, is now.
All right, said Arthur, starting to stuff it back into the primitively stitched rabbit-skin bag. I realize that it is probably not important in the cosmic scale of things, it’s just odd, that’s all. A pink towel suddenly, instead of a blue one with yellow stars.
Ford was beginning to behave rather strangely, or rather not actually beginning to behave strangely but beginning to behave in a way which was strangely different from the other strange ways in which he more regularly behaved. What he was doing was this. Regardless of the bemused stares it was provoking from his fellow members of the crowd gathered round the pitch, he was waving his hands in sharp movements across his face, ducking down behind some people, leaping up behind others, then standing still and blinking a lot. After a moment or two of this he started to stalk forward slowly and stealthily wearing a puzzled frown of concentration, like a leopard that’s not sure whether it’s just seen a half-empty tin of cat food half a mile away across a hot and dusty plain.
This isn’t my bag either, said Arthur suddenly.

“你看吧。”福特说。他拿起一个虚拟的话筒，虚拟地拨了一个号码。
“你好？”他对着虚拟话筒说，“是阿瑟·邓特吗？啊，你好，是的。这里是阿瑟邓特。别挂断。”
他失望地看着虚拟话筒。
“他挂断了。”福特耸耸肩，把虚拟话筒轻轻地放回虚拟主机上。
“这不是我第一次行为反常。”他补充道。
阿瑟的脸上，一种更加郁闷的表情代替了原本郁闷的表情。
“所以我们没有衣锦还乡……”他说。
“我们甚至不算是，”福特补充道，“衣毛巾还乡。”
比赛还在继续。投球手先是大步迈向三柱门，然后是小跑，然后开始拔腿狂奔。一瞬间，他的手脚一齐爆发出巨大的力量，随着他的动作，一只球飞了出来。击球手身子一晃，奋力一击，把球打到了助视屏之外。福特的双眼跟随着球的轨迹转过去，瞬间突然颤了一下，然后僵在那了。福特又顺着球的轨迹转了一遍，他的眼睛又抽搐了一下。
“这不是我的毛巾。”阿瑟一边在他的兔皮袋里翻，一边说着。
“嘘。”福特说。他的目光处于高度集中状态。
“我有条高尔加非洲人的运动毛巾，”阿瑟继续说，“是蓝底子上有黄色星星的。不是这条。”
“嘘。”福特再次说道。他闭上一只眼睛，用另一只看着远方。
“这条是粉色的，”阿瑟说，“不是你的，对吧？”
“我希望你别再提你的毛巾了。”福特说。
“这不是我的毛巾。”阿瑟坚持道，“我就是想说……”
“我就是想说，请你别再说了。”福特恼怒地低吼道，“马上。”
“那好吧。”阿瑟把毛巾塞回他那缝制粗劣的兔皮袋。“我知道这从整个宇宙的角度来看并不重要，只不过有点怪而已，就这样。一条粉色的毛巾，突然代替了我的蓝底黄星星毛巾。”
福特此时的行为变得相当怪异。或者说，并不是变得怪异，而是变成以另一种方式来怪异。这种方式和他一般怪异的时候都不同。他的手飞快地在脸前挥动，完全不顾周围人惊讶的目光；有时猛地一弯腰，躲在别人身后；有时又在别人后面跳上跳下，然后又呆立在那，不停地眨眼睛；过了一会儿，他又凝神屏息，慢慢地、蹑手蹑脚地向前靠近，就像一只干热草原上的猎豹，不敢确定前方半里处是否真有半罐猫粮放在那。
“这也不是我的袋子啊。”阿瑟突然说道。