经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第11章4

Trillian nodded patiently to herself, counted to an even higher number, tossed the tray lightly aside, walked to the transport room and just teleported herself the hell out of his life.
She didn’t even programme any coordinates, she hadn’t the faintest idea where she was going, she just went a random row of dots flowing through the Universe.
Anything, she said to herself as she left, is better than this.
Good job too, muttered Zaphod to himself, turned over and failed to go to sleep.
The next day he restlessly paced the empty corridors of the ship, pretending not to look for her, though he knew she wasn’t there. He ignored the computer’s querulous demands to know just what the hell was going on around here by fitting a small electronic gag across a pair of its terminals.
After a while he began to turn down the lights. There was nothing to see. Nothing was about to happen.
Lying in bed one night and night was now virtually continuous on the ship he decided to pull himself together, to get things into some kind of perspective. He sat up sharply and started to pull clothes on. He decided that there must be someone in the Universe feeling more wretched, miserable and forsaken than himself, and he determined to set out and find him.
Halfway to the bridge it occurred to him that it might be Marvin, and he returned to bed.
It was a few hours later than this, as he stomped disconsolately about the darkened corridors swearing at cheerful doors, that he heard the “wop” said, and it made him very nervous.
He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis. He laid his fingertips against the wall and felt an unusual vibration. And now he could quite clearly hear slight noises, and could hear where they were coming from they were coming from the bridge.
Computer? he hissed.
Mmmm? said the computer terminal nearest him, equally quietly.
Is there someone on this ship?
Mmmmm, said the computer.
Who is it?
Mmmmm mmm mmmmm, said the computer.
What?
Mmmmm mmmm mm mmmmmmmm.
Zaphod buried one of his faces in two of his hands.
Oh, Zarquon, he muttered to himself. Then he stared up the corridor towards the entrance to the bridge in the dim distance from which more and purposeful noises were coming, and in which the gagged terminals were situated.
Computer, he hissed again.
Mmmmm?
When I ungag you…
Mmmmm.
Remind me to punch myself in the mouth.
Mmmmm mmm?
Either one. Now just tell me this. One for yes, two for no. Is it dangerous?
Mmmmm.

崔莉安忍耐地点点头，从一数到一个更大的数字，把托盘随手一扔，去了传输室，以便尽快离开那个家伙.
她连坐标都没输。她根本不在意要去哪，只要走就行——宇宙中随便哪个点都行。
“不管去哪儿，”她临走之前自言自语道，“都比这好。”
“干得好。”赞福德自个嘀咕着，翻了个身，继续失眠。
第二天，他在飞船走廊里焦躁地踱来踱去，假装不是在找她，虽然他知道她不在这儿。电脑抱怨着问到到底怎么了，他无视电脑的问题，用一个小小的电路塞堵住了它的终端电路。
过了一会儿，他开始关灯。什么也看不见。什么也不会发生了。
一天夜里他躺在床上——现在飞船上只有夜晚了——他决定重整旗鼓，做点什么。他猛地坐起来，开始穿衣服。他想，宇宙中一定有人比他更不幸、更悲惨、更为人所弃，他下定决心把那个人找出来。
在去控制台的途中，他一闪念，想起那个人可能是马文，于是转身回床上去了。
又过了几个小时，他正在走廊里孤独地踏来踏去，咒骂着那些快乐的门，然后听见“喔”声，于是感到十分紧张。
他绷紧了神经，背靠在走廊墙上，眉头锁得那么厉害，就像要用意念把瓶塞起子弄直似的。他用指尖轻触墙壁，感觉到不寻常的振动。现在，他清楚地听见了一些声音，听得出它们从哪儿来—— 它们来自控制台。
“电脑？”他轻声道。
“嗯？”最靠近他的电脑终端答道，同样是大气也不敢喘。
“飞船上是不是有其他人？”
“嗯哼。”电脑答道。
“是谁？”
“嗯哼嗯嗯哼。”电脑说。
“什么？”
“嗯哼嗯嗯嗯哼嗯。”
赞福德把一个头埋进双手。
“噢，赞空啊。”他自言自语道。然后，他朝走廊另一头望去，不远处就是控制台，那意有所指的声音便来自那里。塞住的终端电路也在那儿。
“电脑。”他有轻声问道。
“嗯？”
“一会我要是拔了塞子……”
“嗯？”
“就叫我打自己的嘴巴。”
“嗯嗯嗯？”
“随便哪个。现在回答我一个问题。嗯一声表示‘是’，嗯两声表示‘不是’。那边危险吗？”
“嗯。”