经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第15章

Two months later, Zipo Bibrok 5/108 had cut the bottoms off his Galactic State jeans, and was spending part of the enormous fee his judgments commanded lying on a jewelled beach having Essence of Qualactin rubbed into his back by the same rather nice member of the jury. She was a Soolfinian girl from beyond the Cloudworlds of Yaga. She had skin like lemon silk and was very interested in legal bodies.
Did you hear the news? she said.
Weeeeelaaaaah! said Zipo Bibrok 5/108, and you would have had to have been there to know exactly why he said this. None of this was on the tape of Informational Illusions, and is all based on hearsay.
No, he added, when the thing that had made him say Weeeeelaaaaah had stopped happening. He moved his body round slightly to catch the first rays of the third and greatest of primeval Vod’s three suns which was now creeping over the ludicrously beautiful horizon, and the sky now glittered with some of the greatest tanning power ever known.
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea.
I hope it isn’t good news, muttered Zipo Bibrok 5/108, ‘cos I don’t think I could bear it.
Your Krikkit judgment was carried out today, said the girl sumptuously. There was no need to say such a straightforward thing sumptuously, but she went ahead and did it anyway because it was that sort of day. I heard it on the radio, she said, when I went back to the ship for the oil.
Uhuh, muttered Zipo and rested his head back on the jewelled sand.
Something happened, she said.
Mmmm?
Just after the Slo-Time envelope was locked, she said, and paused a moment from rubbing in the Essence of Qualactin, a Krikkit warship which had been missing presumed destroyed turned out to be just missing after all. It appeared and tried to seize the Key.
Zipo sat up sharply.
Hey, what? he said.
it’s all right, she said in a voice which would have calmed the Big Bang down. Apparently there was a short battle. The Key and the warship were disintegrated and blasted into the space-time continuum. Apparently they are lost for ever.
She smiled, and ran a little more Essence of Qualactin on to her fingertips. He relaxed and lay back down.
Do what you did a moment or two ago, he murmured.
That? she said.
No, no, he said, that.
She tried again.
That? she asked.
Weeeeelaaaaah!
Again, you had to be there.
The fragrant breeze drifted up from the sea again.
A magician wandered along the beach, but no one needed him.

两个月后，芝伯·毕博克 5%108脱下他的银河礼仪牛仔裤，趴在一片金灿灿的沙滩上，花着他审判所得的巨额收入。那位美人陪审员，正用夸拉丁芳香精油在他背上按摩。她是一位苏菲尼女孩，来自雅加星的云海世界。她有着柠檬色丝绸一般的肌肤，她对很法律的身体充满兴趣。
“你听说那件事了吗？”她说。
“嗯哪———！！！” 芝伯·毕博克 5%108叫道。只有身临其境，你才能确切地知道他为什么这么叫。这些内容在信息幻影带子上都没记录，只能听听传闻罢了。
“没。”他补充道。此时，让他说“嗯哪”的动作已经停止了。他慢慢翻过身来，接受古老的伏德三恒星之第三星（也是最大的一颗）的第一缕曙光。此时，这颗恒星正从那美得荒诞的地平线上冉冉升起。天空在无比强烈的日光中，华彩夺目。
一丝薰风，自海中弥漫而至，游弋于岸边，复又飘回海上。它在想接下来该去哪儿。忽而一阵冲动，它又吹到了岸边，最后仍飘回海中。
“希望不是什么好事。” 芝伯·毕博克 5%108喃喃道，“我可受不了。”
“你的版求审判今天执行了。”女孩华丽地说。这么简单的一件事，没必要华丽地说；不过，为了配合今天的气氛，她就这样说了，“我在电台里听到的，”她说，“回飞船取精油的时候。”
“噢。”芝伯呢喃着，把头枕在金灿灿的沙滩上。
“有点状况。”她说。
“嗯？”
“就在缓时封皮锁上之后，”她说了一句，又停了一小会儿，以便把夸拉丁香油揉进他的皮肤，“一艘原以为已战毁的版求战船出现了。原来它之前只是失踪了。它是回来抢钥匙的。”
芝伯猛地坐起来。
“嘿，什么？”他说。
“没什么，”她的声音，足以让宇宙大爆炸都平静下来，“显然，发生了一次小小的战斗，钥匙和战船都损坏了，炸到了时空连续体中，显然它们永远地消失了。”
她笑了笑，又用指尖蘸了点夸拉丁香油。他放松下来，躺了回去。
“刚才那个，再来一次吧。”他喃喃地说。
“这个？”
“不不，那个。”
她又试了试。
“这个？”她问。
“嗯哪———！！！”
同样地，你得身临其境才行。
一丝薰风又自海中飘来。
一位魔术师游荡在沙滩上，但没人需要他。