经典科幻文学:《生命 宇宙及一切》第10章5
Chapter 11
Stomp stomp.
Whirrr.
Pleased to be of service.
Shut up.
Thank you.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirrr.
Thank you for making a simple door very happy.
Hope your diodes rot.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirrr.
It is my pleasure to open for you…
Zark off.
–…and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.
I said zark off.
Thank you for listening to this message.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Wop.
Zaphod stopped stomping. He had been stomping around the Heart of Gold for days, and so far no door had said “wop” to him. He was fairly certain that no door had said “wop” to him now. It was not the sort of thing doors said. Too concise. Furthermore, there were not enough doors. It sounded as if a hundred thousand people had said “wop”, which puzzled him because he was the only person on the ship.
It was dark. Most of the ship’s non-essential systems were closed down. It was drifting in a remote area of the Galaxy, deep in the inky blackness of space. So which particular hundred thousand people would turn up at this point and say a totally unexpected “wop”?
He looked about him, up the corridor and down the corridor. It was all in deep shadow. There were just the very dim pinkish outlines of the doors which glowed in the dark and pulsed whenever they spoke, though he had tried every way he could think of of stopping them.
The lights were off so that his heads could avoid looking at each other, because neither of them was currently a particularly engaging sight, and nor had they been since he had made the error of looking into his soul.
It had indeed been an error. It had been late one night of course.
It had been a difficult day of course.
第十一章
踏，踏。
嗡——
“很高兴为您服务。”
“闭嘴。”
“谢谢。”
踏，踏，踏，踏，踏。
嗡——
“谢谢您让一扇小小的门感到非常开心。”
“祝你的二极管烂掉。”
“谢谢。祝您愉快。”
踏，踏，踏，踏。
嗡——
“为您打开是我的荣幸……”
“赞上你的嘴。”
“……为您关上之后结束一切工作，也令我心满意足。”
“我说赞上你的嘴。”
“谢谢您的聆听。”
踏，踏，踏，踏。
“喔。”
赞福德停下了脚步。他在黄金之心里踏来踏去好几天了，还不曾有哪个门对他说“喔”呢。他敢肯定，没有哪个门对他说过“喔”，这不是门会说的话，太简洁了。另外，也没有那么多的门，这个声音像是成百上千人一起说“喔”，这令他十分困惑，因为飞船上就他一个人。
一切都在黑暗中。飞船上不必要的设备都关了。此时，它正游荡在银河系一个偏僻之地，在漆黑的太空深处。那么，哪来的成百上千人跑到这儿来跟他说一声“喔”？
他四处看了看，跑到走廊上看，又趴到走廊下看，到处都只是黑的而已。黑暗中，只有每扇门模糊的粉色轮廓发出一点亮光。并且，每有一声“喔”门就震动一下。赞福德想尽办法也不能消除这声音。
灯都关了，赞福德的两个头便无需看见彼此。他俩现在都相当不帅——自从他错误地决定探求一下自己灵魂深处之后，就变成这样了。
那真是一个错误。那是在一个深夜——理所当然。
那天白天非常难熬——理所当然。
