经典科幻文学:《宇宙尽头的餐馆》第32章2
The crowd swivelled round.
“Ah my dear fellow,” called out the Captain, “Got any matches on you? Or a lighter? Anything like that?”
“No,” said Ford, sounding a little deflated. It wasn’t what he’d prepared. He decided he’d better be a little stronger on the subject.
“No I haven’t,” he continued, “No matches. Instead I bring you news…”
“Pity,” said the Captain, “We’ve all run out you see. Haven’t had a hot bath in weeks.”
Ford refused to be headed off.
“I bring you news,” he said, “of a discovery that might interest you.”
“Is it on the agenda?” snapped the man whom Ford had interrupted.
Ford smiled a broad country-rock singer smile.
“Now, come on,” he said.
“Well I’m sorry,” said the man huffily, “but speaking as a management consultant of many years’ standing, I must insist on the importance of observing the committee structure.”
Ford looked round the crowd.
“He’s mad you know,” he said, “this is a prehistoric planet.”
“Address the chair!” snapped the management consultant.
“There isn’t chair,” explained Ford, “there’s only a rock.”
The management consultant decided that testiness was what the situation now called for.
“Well, call it a chair,” he said testily.
“Why not call it a rock?” asked Ford.
“You obviously have no conception,” said the management consultant, not abandoning testiness in favour of good old fashioned hauteur, “of modern business methods.”
“And you have no conception of where you are,” said Ford.
A girl with a strident voice leapt to her feet and used it.
“Shut up, you two,” she said, “I want to table a motion.”
“You mean boulder a motion,” tittered a hairdresser.
“Order, order!” yapped the management consultant.
人群转过身来。
“哦，我亲爱的伙计，”舰长大声说道，“你身上带着火柴吗，或者是打火机－－任何这一类的东西！”
“没有。”福特说，听起来有点儿泄气。这番开场白跟他准备的出人太大，他决定自己在这个问题上晟好再强硬一点。
“没有，我没带。”他继续说道，“没有火柴。不过我给你们带来了新闻……”
“真遗憾，”舰长说，“我们的都用完了。你瞧，好几个星期没洗热水澡了。”
福特没理会他的插话。
“我给你们带来了新闻，”他说，“是一项发现，你们也许会感兴趣。”
“它列在议程上吗？”被福特打断的那个人厉声说道。
福特完全像一个乡村摇滚歌手那样笑了笑。
”现在加进去，不就行了！”他说。
“哦，很抱歉，”那人怒气冲冲地说，“但身为一个从业多年的管理咨询顾问，我必须提请大家注意委员会章程的重要性。”
福特环顾人群。
“他生气了，但大家要知道，”他说，“我们正身处一颗史前行星上。”
“请先转向主席台，请求发言！”那个管理咨询顾问又厉声说道。
“这里没有主席台，”福特解释说，“只有一块石头。”
管理咨询顾问认定，这种的情况下需要来点儿暴躁的
“称它为主席台！”他粗暴地说。
“为什么不称它为石头呢？”福特问。
“对于现代商业{去则，”管理咨询顾问说，现在他放弃了粗暴，转为那种旧式的傲慢，“你显然毫无概念。”
“而你，对于目前身处何方才是毫无概念。”福特说。
一个声音刺耳的女孩跳了出来。
“闭嘴吧，你们两个。”她说，“我想提出一项动议。”
“你是说形成一项动议。”一个美发师窃笑着说。
“提交，提交！”管理咨询顾问大声叫道。
