狄更斯双语小说:《董贝父子》第45章Part4

'Can Mrs Dombey believe,' said Carker, coming nearer, 'that I would return to it in the face of her prohibition? Is it possible that Mrs Dombey, having no regard to my unfortunate position, is so determined to consider me inseparable from my instructor as to do me great and wilful injustice?'
'Sir,' returned Edith, bending her dark gaze full upon him, and speaking with a rising passion that inflated her proud nostril and her swelling neck, and stirred the delicate white down upon a robe she wore, thrown loosely over shoulders that could hear its snowy neighbourhood. 'Why do you present yourself to me, as you have done, and speak to me of love and duty to my husband, and pretend to think that I am happily married, and that I honour him? How dare you venture so to affront me, when you know - I do not know better, Sir: I have seen it in your every glance, and heard it in your every word - that in place of affection between us there is aversion and contempt, and that I despise him hardly less than I despise myself for being his! Injustice! If I had done justice to the torment you have made me feel, and to my sense of the insult you have put upon me, I should have slain you!'
She had asked him why he did this. Had she not been blinded by her pride and wrath, and self-humiliation, - which she was, fiercely as she bent her gaze upon him, - she would have seen the answer in his face. To bring her to this declaration.
She saw it not, and cared not whether it was there or no. She saw only the indignities and struggles she had undergone and had to undergo, and was writhing under them. As she sat looking fixedly at them, rather than at him, she plucked the feathers from a pinion of some rare and beautiful bird, which hung from her wrist by a golden thread, to serve her as a fan, and rained them on the ground.
He did not shrink beneath her gaze, but stood, until such outward signs of her anger as had escaped her control subsided, with the air of a man who had his sufficient reply in reserve and would presently deliver it. And he then spoke, looking straight into her kindling eyes.
'Madam,' he said, 'I know, and knew before to-day, that I have found no favour with you; and I knew why. Yes. I knew why. You have spoken so openly to me; I am so relieved by the possession of your confidence - '
'Confidence!' she repeated, with disdain.
He passed it over.

“难道董贝夫人认为，我会违背她的禁令回到那个目的上去吗？”卡克走近一些，说道，”难道董贝夫人可能毫不考虑我的不幸处境，决心把我看成是跟向我发号施令的人不可分离的，因此故意极不公道地对待我吗？”
“先生，”伊迪丝用阴沉的眼光注视着他，愈来愈激动地说着；她的高傲的鼻孔张开了，发涨的脖子变得更粗大了，她所穿的一件长衣上的精致的白色的绒毛颤抖着，那件长衣不在意地披在她的肩膀上，她的肩膀是完全配得上与这白雪般的绒毛为邻的。”您为什么一直来要在我面前扮演这种角色，跟我谈什么对我丈夫的爱情与责任，还假装出您相信我的婚姻是幸福的，我是尊敬他的？您明明知道--您并不比我不清楚，先生，我从您的每一道眼光中看到这一点，从您所说的每一个字中听到这一点--，我们两人之间没有爱情，只有厌恶与轻蔑，我蔑视他的程度并不低于我由于从属于他而蔑视我自己的程度；您明明知道这些，为什么却还敢于这样侮辱我？不公道！如果我公道地对待您使我感受到的痛苦的话，如果我公道地对待您施加给我的侮辱的话，那么我应当把您杀了才好！”
她问他过去为什么要这样做。如果她不是被她的高傲、愤怒与自卑感蒙蔽了自己的眼睛的话--尽管她恶狠狠地看着他，但是她还是被蒙蔽住了--，那么她是能从他的脸上看到答复的。现在她表白了她的意见，要求他回答。
她看不到这个答复，也不理会他脸部的表情中是不是有这个答复。她只回想起她所忍受过和必须忍受的侮辱，回想起她所进行过和必须进行的思想斗争，并正因此而感到痛苦。当她一动不动地回想起这些感情，而好像不是注视着他的时候，她从一只珍奇的、美丽的鸟儿的翅膀（它由一根金线悬挂在她的手腕上，作为扇子）上拔下羽毛，让它们像雨点般飘落在地上。
他在她的注视下没有退缩，而是保持着一个能够作出使人充分满意的答复而且可以立即作出这种答复的人的姿态，站在那里，直到她所无法控制的愤怒的表面迹象消退为止。这时候，他直望着她的冒着火星的眼睛，说道：
“夫人，”他说道，”我明白，在今天以前就明白，我没有得到您的好感，我也明白是什么原因。是的，我明白是什么原因。您这样直言不讳地对我谈话，我得到您的这种信任，心中觉得很宽慰--”
“信任！”她轻蔑地重复着说道。
他没有理会这一点。