狄更斯双语小说:《董贝父子》第23章Part 4

Still no one knew of this. Unless the household found it out when she was not there - and they all held Mr Dombey's rooms in awe - it was as deep a secret in her breast as what had gone before it. Florence stole into those rooms at twilight, early in the morning, and at times when meals were served downstairs. And although they were in every nook the better and the brighter for her care, she entered and passed out as quietly as any sunbeam, opting that she left her light behind.

Shadowy company attended Florence up and down the echoing house, and sat with her in the dismantled rooms. As if her life were an enchanted vision, there arose out of her solitude ministering thoughts, that made it fanciful and unreal. She imagined so often what her life would have been if her father could have loved her and she had been a favourite child, that sometimes, for the moment, she almost believed it was so, and, borne on by the current of that pensive fiction, seemed to remember how they had watched her brother in his grave together; how they had freely shared his heart between them; how they were united in the dear remembrance of him; how they often spoke about him yet; and her kind father, looking at her gently, told her of their common hope and trust in God.

At other times she pictured to herself her mother yet alive. And oh the happiness of falling on her neck, and clinging to her with the love and confidence of all her soul! And oh the desolation of the solitary house again, with evening coming on, and no one there!

依旧没有人知道这种情况。只要仆人们当她不在的时候没有发现这一点——他们所有的人对董贝先生的房间都是诚惶诚恐，望而生畏的——，这个秘密就可以像先前一样，深深地藏在她的心中。弗洛伦斯在清早天刚蒙蒙亮的时候以及仆人们在地下室用餐的时候，偷偷地走进这些房间。虽然房间里每个角落由于她的照料变得更美好更明亮，但她却仍像阳光一样，无声无息地进去和出来，唯一的差别是她把她的光留在后面。

虚幻的伴侣们伴随着弗洛伦斯在这座能发出回声的房屋中来来去去，跟她在这空荡荡的房间中坐在一起。仿佛她的生活是施加了魔力之后所产生的梦幻；她在孤独中产生出一些思想，使得这种生活成为虚幻的和非现实的。她经常想象：如果她的父亲一直能够爱她，她是他的掌上明珠的话，那么她的生活将会是怎样的；有时在片刻间她几乎相信情况就是那样的；在幻想海阔天空地翩翩飞翔之中，她仿佛记得，他们曾经怎样一道到坟墓里去看望他的弟弟，他们曾经怎样任意地分享他的爱心；他们在对他的亲切回忆中怎样结合成为一个整体；他们怎样还经常谈到他，他的慈爱的父亲亲切地望着她，跟她谈到他们的共同希望和对上帝的共同信仰。

在其他时间中她想象母亲好像还活着。啊，当她搂着她的脖子，怀着整个心灵的热爱与信赖，抱住她的时候，这是何等幸福啊！可是，啊，在这冷落的公馆中重新是一片凄凉；当晚上来临的时候，一个人也没有！